okay. alright. I just ate dinner at my mom's and for some reason I'm all hyper and fidgety and shit. I'm wondering whether my mom slipped me a hit of Ecstasy in with my mashed potatoes.
Anyway, I'm sitting in front of my computer at home listening to Dallas Green, who should be a million times more popular than James Blunt, and thinking about what I did at work today.
Okay. What did I do, what did I do? Well, I spent roughly 6 hours at work thinking about asking the girl beside me out to a movie - chick looks exactly like a fuckin' anime cartoon. Anyway, she's about 50 pounds and hardly speaks a word of english, and thats not really my scene, so I eventually nixed the whole notion of asking her out, but I did spend the remaining three hours of the day picturing her naked. And ahhh...that, I guess, is my day at work, in a nutshell.
Oh yeah, and I suppose it goes without saying I was also trying out different names for my penis, while at work. So far the front runner is "Higgins". You know, like on Magnum PI? I think Higgins would be a fitting name for my penis because it always seems to be indignant and outraged at some business or other.
Higgins, my penis: Good god, man!! You are planning on sticking me in where?!?!
and
Higgins, my penis: Good god, man!! When was the last time you moisturized your hands?
Yeah, maybe I'll bounce (the name) Higgins off of a few women and see what they think.
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11 comments:
lol! Can't wait to hear the reaction!!
Mr. Belvedere. I always remember Higgins as being a kill joy.
Oh my...I'm sitting here giggling.
Good God, man! :)
you should have gone with Stanley (as "me" suggested) because you know it is always good for a fuck!
Higgins.. higgins is okay but I have to go with Melissa on Mr. Belvedere.
it sounds...robust.
And a robust penis is never a bad thing...
I had a neighbor whose kids used to slip hits of acid in her diet coke. I was apalled - she thought it was hilarious.
I kind of like Higgins.
Nah, I concur with me and anonymous. I'd personally want to be done over by a dick of that name anytime!
no good
u need to be a fiercer fucker then whatever the name of your penis
Katt - cant wait to report the reaction.
Melissa - weird. I was also thinking about Mr. Belvedere (along with Benson).
me - glad I could give you a chuckle.
elaine - for a moment there I considered the name "scott speedman".
Freak Magnet - thats weird too. Why would anyone waste their acid on their mom.
anonymous - I have a friend at work named Stan. It'd be too strange.
thanks, all
I can't believe we've all overlooked the obvious. Word on the street is that all the ladies call your penis "master."
Hehehe.
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