Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Toronto School Board Trustees voted, yesterday, in approval of opening a "black focused" high school. The school is to open some time in 2009. Those in favor of this move say it may reduce the 40% drop out rate black students have in Toronto. Those who oppose the black focused school say segregation is not the answer. I guess I can see both arguments. However, I think one of the most important life skills high school teaches is how to interact with other individuals from different backgrounds. I mean, how else are black guys supposed to learn to pick up the fat white chicks with massive asses they covet so much?

I've also been pretty keen on following the elections in the States. I'm pretty confident that the hardcore right wing factions down south are shitting bricks at the prospects of having either a woman or a black man winning the office of President of the USA. The only thing that would make it more amusing would be if Hilary said she was converting to Judaism or if Obama said he was a flaming homosexual and spoke with a lisp. Totally awesome.

Today on the schedule I have, hopefully, 10 hours of uninterrupted DVD watching followed by a late dinner, with Hotblackchick, at the Mandarin. The Mandarin is great because all the staff is hardcore Chinese but the client base they cater to is mostly super white trash tramps and dealer whiteboys. Its a great mix.

Hopefully the evening will end off with some dick licking (by hotblackchick) and clueless clit sucking (by me). Perhaps if the mood strikes me, while I'm down there staring HBC eye to clit, I'll bust out into La Isla Bonita.

Monday, January 28, 2008

The Ultimate Fantasy Pop Duo

Too bad John Oates and Lionel Ritchie never formed a band, or collaborated on a song... or were featured in a porno together.

Imagine that? Totally rad.

Any female would be lucky to get tag-teamed by such fine specimens of mulatto mustaches.

You know what would be even better than Oates and Ritchie tag-teaming a broad? Oates and Ritchie doing it raw, nasty, gay, jungle style with each other!! Wicked.

Dont pretend you wouldn't watch. I'm not gay but I certainly would watch and probably purchase any related DVD or Box Set of Oates and Ritchie pounding each other in the ass. The sheer beauty of their butt love-making is something that would transcend sexual orientation.

The only other gay sex I would prefer to see more than the Oates and Ritchie combo is if Jean Luc Picard traveled through a wormhole and seduced his future or past self. Two Jean Luc Picards getting it on with each other would be smoking. Maybe then we would add Larry David to make it a menage, or would that be too much of a good thing? I dunno.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Easily the ugliest chick I've ever masturbated to...

In case you are wondering, yes that is the chick from Roxette. I have no idea what I was thinking. Maybe it was the drugs, or peer pressure or maybe it was the mass marketing of the pop group that brainwashed me into thinking the Roxette chick was hot.

It was probably a combination of all three.

Speaking of chicks I masturbate to, anyone see the new Ciara video? The one where she is lying on her side and just pounding the floor with her vag with that total non committal expression on her face like she's saying "yeah, so what? I can shatter cinder blocks with my vag if I wanted to. You got a problem with that?" Totally hot.

Lastly, things between me and hotblackchick are a little weird. I think she is quite happy. I mean, why wouldn't she be? I'm one studly piece of hot beef injection. Yeah, she is definitely happy. I am not so much. Even the sex is just sorta okay for me. Sometimes I make up games to occupy my mind while we make sweet sweet white guy on black chick love. The other night while I was giving it to her 3/4 angle style I thought to myself "okay, Hootch, give it to her good, brother. Make love to her like a black man would". I chuckled a little to myself as that train of thought caught me completely off guard.

"Make love to her like a black man? What exactly does that mean," I continued my interior monologue. I decided to play with her tits a little to make her think I was still paying attention to our love making. "Make love to her like a black man? Does than mean I should impregnate her and never call her again? Maybe it means I should just sing some R n' B songs to her". I contemplated singing Seal's Kissed by a Rose to her as we were now doggie styling it. Maybe something by Sade or Shaka Khan would be more appropriate.

"Shaka Khan, let me rock you, let me rock you Shaka Khan,
Let me rock you thats all I wanna do,
Shaka Khan, let me rock you, let me rock you Shaka Khan,
Let me rock you let me feel for you"

In the end I decided to fuck her like I imagine Billy Dee Williams fucks. I got totally wasted on Colt 45, and passed out on her cushion pillow ass.

Friday, January 18, 2008

I'm pretty sure I'd throw it to Hilary Clinton

Is it just me or do Chelsea Clinton and Alfred E Neuman look exactly the same?

Bill's thoughts as he's looking at Hilary: I am so gonna doggie style Lewinski, tonight.

Speaking of Bill, does anyone know what he did with those cigars he fucked Lewinski with? I think it'd be hilarious if he gave them out to all the closet nazi's in the government.

ClosetNazi: Mmmm, this cigar here, Bill, is damn smooth.

Clinton: SURPRISE!!! I've been marinating the tip of that cigar in Monica Lewinski's pussy juice.

Maybe they can make a reality tv show out of it, like they did with Punk'd. They can call it Pussy Juiced. Come on. Admit it. Thats awesome.

Rush Limbaugh: You know, Bill, if your wife or that nigger become the next President of the United States I may have to pick up my belongings and move to Mexico or something. Buy a few slaves and just live the good life as god intended, you know voicing my opinions on issues I know nothing about and just generally being an asshole hypocrite. Hmmmm, damn, Bill!! This cigar is good. Is it Cuban?

Bill: AAAHAHAHA, SURPRISE LIMABAUGH!! That cigar, between your lips, has been soaking in my wife's vagina the past 12 hours. YOU'VE JUST BEEN PUSSY JUICED!!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

I got the hootchie-cootchie blues

I have the movie Black Snake Moan stuck on repeat. Its fucking awesome. If you combine this with the fact I've been "auditioning" strippers for Sterg's birthday party this weekend, its no surprise I've taken to singing and recording half-made up blues songs into my phone while buried in the corners of Toronto's finest shitholes. Here are the only two girls/songs I remember:

Have you seen my baby
they call her LuluAnne,
I say, have you seen my baby
they call her LuluAnne,
she got a fistful of 20s
and break the heart of every man.

Have you seen my baby
they call her Paradise,
I say, have you seen my baby
they call her Paradise,
Dont need no other chacha
cuz, oh man, she jack so nice

Its, like, I'm the reincarnation of Blind Lemon Jefferson.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Shoot'em Up

Of man, Shoot'em Up was fucking great. Among many of the positives, Clive Owens was terrific as an action hero. The lone negative, Monica Bellucci may have put in the worse acting performance in the history of film, thankfully though her tits looked magnificent.

Not to nit-pick or anything but I'm not sure what the deal was with Monica Bellucci's hairstyle. The straight bangs across her forehead look wasn't doing it for me. I dont want to be mean or anything but I would only rate Bellucci's physical appearance in Shoot'em Up as a half an ounce of jizz out of my standard 1.267 ounces of jizz per ejaculate. Clearly she is capable of so much better. Bellucci has the ability to force the jizz-o-meter off the charts by tapping into my emergency reserve of jizzwad if she really wanted to. For instance:

OMG!!! Captain, the jizz-o-meter cant take the pressure. Pre-ejaculate readings are indicating 3 ounces of hot jizz about to be ejaculated... 4 ounces now... the pre-ejaculate indicators keep moving up, Captain. 5 ounces of jizz and the readings keep rising. Half a pint!!! We just hit pre-ejaculate readings of half a pint. Captain, we're gonna blow and cause serious internal injuries. We need to do something quick!!!

Oh, thank Heavens. Good thinking, Captain. Jizz-o-meter readings are rapidly falling. We are in absolute no danger of going off. Although now I'm pretty sure we've just turned gay, but one problem at a time, eh?

Friday, January 04, 2008


I finished watching Eastern Promises yesterday. I thought it was pretty great. It had a lot of similarities with A History of Violence. I thought it was interesting how both movies explore similar themes of alternate identities and the family unit vs organized crime.

Working from memory, these two films have been quite different from Cronenberg's previous efforts, which I haven't really been a fan of. I'm wondering if there was a specific catalyst that resulted in him working on these two films that deal with a definitive good vs a definitive evil as opposed to his other movies where those concepts are more ambiguous.

I picked up a few more movies yesterday including Collateral, which I thought was fucking great and deserves to be mentioned among Jamie Fox and Tom Cruise's best movies, and Shoot'em Up. I wasn't gonna get Shoot'em Up but I flipped to the back of the cover and saw a picture of a sprawled out Monica Belluci wearing fishnet stockings. 'Nough said.

I'm gonna be pissed if Shoot'em Up is as shit as Smokin Aces.

Set up a 2nd blog strictly to document my strategies and plays. Have a look if you like. Ask questions, whatever - Guerilla Daytrading.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Alright. So, whats going on? Hitting that 15% on RIM has basically allowed me to fuck off the previous week and a bit. I did some DVD shopping. I picked up The Kingdom which was a huge disappointment. On tap for today is Eastern Promises which I'm looking forward to watching. I loved History of Violence so I'm hoping Eastern Promises captures, at least a little bit of that same intrigue.

Me and the fellas hit up a new rippers a few days ago. That was pretty fun. I've never seen Sterg so smashed before in my life.

Hootch: (approaching a stripper) Excuse me. If you are not too busy I'd like to get my friend a few dances from you, if that's ok?

Stripper: Sure, baby.

Hootch: I'm Hootch. What's your name?

Stripper: Hi Hootch. I'm Lola (we shake hands).

Hootch: (we approach Sterg, who is sucking back what I'm pretty sure is essentially straight rubbing alcohol) Hey, Sterg. Our friend here is gonna take you in the back for a while.

Sterg: Awesome.

Lola: Hi, sweetie. I'm Lola

Sterg: Hi Cobra.

Ahh fuck. I just about died of laughter - Cobra, the stripper, thats awesome.

I'm thinking about starting a 2nd blog where I'll document my stock plays and general thoughts on trading. Maybe that'll be a good way of organizing my ideas.

The only 2 stocks I'm rolling with now is RailPower Technologies and Kinross Gold. I just bought RailPower yesterday at 70 cents. It has a lot of positive momentum behind it. Several days ago the Ontario Teachers Pension Plan decided to invest 35 million dollars in the company. This acted as a catalyst for the stock's recent move. Alot of big money follows the OTPP. I have my stop/loss in at 75 cents but I really hope the stock keeps moving upward for the next few days as I really hate scouring the markets looking for my next run.

Kinross I also bought yesterday at 19.55. I bought in a little late in the gold rally yesterday, but I hope the positive momentum will carry over into today.

Show time. I gotsta go.