Sunday, June 24, 2007

DVDs and shit

I saw Lucky Number Slevin on Friday. It was pretty good. Actually, it was really good. Yeah, I'm not shitting you. It was probably one of the more entertaining movies I've seen in the past 6 months.

Maybe I liked it a lot because I had super low expectations. I had never seen a Josh Hartnett movie before... at least I dont think I have. I expected him to be the musical equivalent of Puff Daddy, which is to say completely and entirely shit. But no. Hartnett was good.

Same deal for Lucy Liu. Apart from gimmicky roles like in Charlie's Angels, Kill Bill and in Ally McBeal I had never seen her in anything real. She was good too, though. Damn sexy also.

The movie had some pretty interesting camera shots and dialogue. Combine that with a lot of extras and it was definitely worth the $20 to buy the DVD.

Early this morning I also saw Garden State. I heard it was supposed to be pretty good. But I dunno... I couldn't seem to watch more than 10 minutes of the movie without feeling the overwhelming urge to flip the channel to Jumanji on TBS. I think I may hate Zach Braff. I may elaborate later on but Garden State didn't sit all that well with me.

One thing I did like was J7 L7's short story on his blog. Here is the link to the piece. Check it out.

Football is going alright. Team is in first place. The standings on the league's website is a little out of date so it only shows us at 3-0.

Teams G W L T P/F P/A PTS +/-
Enforcers 3 3 0 0 101 28 9 73
Lost a Step 3 3 0 0 91 46 9 45
Obsessions 3 2 1 0 91 54 6 37
Red Knights 3 2 1 0 65 55 6 10
Milf Hunters FC 3 1 2 0 71 71 3 0
Seminoles 3 1 2 0 52 71 0 -19









Sunday Morning Maniacs 3 0 3 0 39 103 0 -64
Argos 3 0 3 0 18 110 0 -92

However, we just bitch-slapped "the enforcers" up and down the field last week so we're sitting pretty on top as the only undefeated team.

I've been nursing either a hernia or a pulled groin since week one. I'm trying to determine which I have. How can you tell? I guess going to the doctors would be a good way of finding out. I fucking hate doctors, though. Doctors and Zach Braff... what a way to ruin a beautiful summer's day. Anyway my pulled "groinia" is feeling a bit better so maybe I'll just fuck the idea of going to the doctors for good. Getting older though. Thats for sure. I remember when the only thing I had to stretch my muscles and warm up for was marathon jungle sex with the German broad at University. Fuck, now I practically have to spend half an hour just stretching my legs for a 10 minute walk to the corner store.

Enough of my bitching. I gotsta go pour myself a glass of prune juice and watch tonights episode of Matlock.

Friday, June 22, 2007

reality shows and canadian music

Alright. I'm a sucker for shows like American/Canadian Idol and So You Think You Can Dance. However, one thing I would change about these types of shows is how mean some of the judges can be. I mean, what the fuck, dude, cant you remember how it once felt to be young and full of hopes and dreams?

The judges on So You Think You Can Dance absolutely freak out, when they find out that someone who does not perform particularly well actually teaches dance to young adults. They act like its the biggest atrocity in the world. I remember one exchange from last season after a contestant danced pretty shit.

Judge: Come up to the microphone, darling...
Woman: (walks up to the mic after dancing)
Judge: What do you do for a living?
Woman: (out of breath and panting) I'm a dance instructor.
Judge: (looking horrified) You are a dance instructor?!
Woman: Yes. I teach little children.
Judge: (looking even more horrified like the woman just admitted she's a member of a Taliban sleeper cell) Is... is there no god in heaven? How can something like this happen? This is the real problem with America. You teach little children how to dance!??!! Get off my stage... just get off. I cant stand to look at your face anymore.

Ok. I kinda made up the "get off my stage" part, but for real, yo, theses judges are assholes.
Take Zach on Canadian Idol, a cock-sucker of enormous proportions. He's a 40ish year old douche who thinks he's cool cuz he has an earing and a goatee. The guy spends most his time on the show with a sour look on his face pretending he has some place better to be. Who you fooling, dude? Everyone knows if you weren't employed by Canadian Idol you'd be serving up $5 handjobs from out of the backseat of your car. Here is a pic of Zack throwing a garbage can after being enraged by a string of poor singing performances:



ohhhhh, the fag on tv is pissed because we've offended his artistic sensibilities . Negro, please!!! I haven't seen anything so contrived and rehearsed since the last Tom Cruise or John Travolta interview where they try and convince us they are, in fact, normal and not the actual godless degenerates we know they are.

Another thing about the Canadian music industry that bothers me is their reluctance to support anyone with any sex appeal. I mean, fuck, in a country of 25 million+ is it an absolute impossibility to find someone who can sing and be a provider of wet dreams?? I dunno, I guess Nelly Furtado can sometimes look alright but then I hear her talk and its an instant erection kill.

I dont think there has been anyone since Mitsou, in the 1980's, who could be relied upon to provide high quality crankage material on a consistent basis. Mitsou was French Canada's answer to Madonna, and sure she wasn't all that hot, but at least she gave you the impression you could probably score a blowjob off her if you ran into her on the street.


Anyway, I could say more but I gotta get to the rock-pile.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

her body stay vicious, she be up in the gym just working on her fitness

Alright. There is this horse-faced chick on Much Music. Her name is Leah Miller. All my friends seem to like her cuz she's got big tits and a small waist. I think she is kind of annoying, though. On Saturday I was watching a repeat of Leah Miller's interview with my future wife, Hilary Duff. Fucking brutal. Leah spent more time trying to become friends with Hilary than actually interviewing her. I mean, it was so pathetic that even the 12 year old girls in the audience asked more insightful questions.

12 year old girl in the audience: Hi Hilary. I love your music. My question is what artist would you most like to collaborate with?

Hilary Duff: Wow, what a good question. I'd really love to work with Akon. Everyone else seems to be putting out hit songs with him.

Leah Miller: Oh my gawd, Hilary!! That's what I would've said... I mean...if I actually was a singer... and anyone cared what I thought. Lets take our next audience question. Yes, the guy who looks like he hasn't showered in a week, whats your question for Hilary?

Hootch: My question is, apart from going out with the least talented person in the world, Joel Madden, what else would you change about your personal and professional life?

Hilary Duff: Hmmm. Thats an interesting question. I guess I would start by...

Hootch: Sorry for interrupting, Hilary. I had a quick "add on" to my question. I just wanted to let you know I love your videos. Their composition and story-telling are really quite extraordinary and first class. I jack it to them all he time.

Hilary: Oh my gawd. Thats soooo sweet. Did you know I use that as motivation? Whenever I'm on set shooting a video and its already been a long day, sometimes all I wanna do is say "fuck it" and go home. But, I just think of all the dateless, lonely, geezers like you who rely on me to produce crankage material, and it really gives me that extra boost of energy I need to complete the day.

Anyway, that Leah Miller interview with Hilary Duff was pretty shit.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

we got action (how to lose all your money in one day)

Sold Forzanis and Stelco at a bit of a loss for an opportunity to play GQC on the Venture and OIL on the Toronto xchange.

GQC ran up over 300% yesterday as the mining company had terrific results from the hole they dug. The stock traded roughly 25% of its float. Fucking nuts. I got 5000 shares at 1.47. If the stock doesn't pop at the open I'll be surprised... and perhaps a little suicidal.

OIL is expecting some results from a few of their projects within the next week or so. The stock has been climbing in anticipation. I have 300 shares at 12.31.

Really, I know next to nothing about these companies and its never a good idea to chase a stock... or whores... but I'm a sucker for both.

If both stocks tank the whores in Toronto will go hungry.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Monday morning musings

Anyone else see Cameron Diaz slutting it up yesterday on the MTV movie awards? Damn, she looked surprisingly pretty. She looked like she was getting a little meat back on those bones. Reminded me a little of her in The Mask. Even so, you could still tell it was just a matter of time before Justin moved on and tapped something a little younger. Enter Jessica Biel. Smokin'. Thats the way to do it, kid.

On Friday, I mentioned a couple stocks I'm playing for a (hopeful) bump initiated by takeover speculation. I bought 120 shares of Forzanis at 25.40. On Friday it closed at 24.85. Forzanis, on friday, said they were approached by private equity but told them they were not interested in selling the company. Enter the dick in my ass. I'll keep watch of the stock and if it looks like its going significantly lower I'll sell today. Ideally, I would like to keep the stock until Tuesday were FGL is scheduled to release their Q1 numbers. I'm guessing the numbers will be strong and there are whisperings that the company will initiate a dividend policy. Fingers crossed, as this may be the catalyst for a pop in price.

Stelco is the other stock I'm trying to hit for a short-term flip. I bought 105 shares at 31, on friday and it closed at 31.90. Stelco is this deeply troubled company that I normally wouldn't touch. However, its in a sector where everything is being consolidated and the company said they are actually in preliminary talks and exploring all options for maximizing shareholder value. Still, this doesn't mean shit and its still a fairly risky play but I'll chase the rumours and see where it gets me.

Ordinarily its never a good idea to chase a stock on rumours. However me and good ideas are like water and oil.