Friday, August 31, 2007

I took the last two days off...

...to see if I can get a jump start on my daytrading "career". Wednesday was alright. I added to my core Research in Motion holdings and also took a position in Allen-Vanguard. RIM is performing well fueled by the rumour that Microsoft may want to take them out, and VRS went crazy on Wednesday trading, like, 6 times its normal volume. Both stocks have gone up the last 2 days but of course me mentioning them in my blog is as sure a kiss of death as there is. Anyway if VRS shows any weakness I'll probably sell today to lock in immediate profits even though I think the stock will perform very well over the next 6-12 months.

Yesterday, I was less productive. After a few hours of watching RIM and VRS move up and down I became a little bored. I ordered 30 chicken wings for lunch and watched my very first episode of the OC and Crossing Jordan while occasionally flipping to BET hoping to catch a video with hot black chicks I could crank it to. However, both the OC and Crossing Jordan proved compelling enough that my visits to Black Entertainment Television became less and less frequent.

Today is my last day at work.

Monday, August 27, 2007

after the sundown

After the sundown we decided to go back to the Casino and look for a bite to eat. It was me, Mally, Sterg, Ho, Heel and BabyFace. We managed to invite a few of the girls from the club to make things interesting. None of the girls in the club were really my type but the chicks Mally and Ho had invited were crazy dirty. I was so jealous.

When Mally and Ho took them to the back of the VIP section the girls started out their private dances by eating each other out in a variety of positions. I was with this 6ft Romanian chick but couldn't help but notice Mally's chick grinding Mally's balls while eating out Ho's chick from behind. It was fucking nuts. You could tell Mally and Ho where trying to play the nice guy card. I was walking by to get me and the Romanian a drink when I hear Ho's chick say:

Ho's chick: Do you want to finger me?

Ho: Ahhhh shucks, I like you too much and... and I'm kind of shy.

Ho's chick: Thats so sweet. Its alright. I want you to.

A nano second later Ho was wrist deep. His hand was moving so fast I could hardly see it move.

From my booth all I could hear for the rest of the night was "Ooooohhh, Mr. Ho and Mr. Mally, thats feels soooo gooood".

Sterg, continuing his tradition of falling in love with the ugliest blonde chick in the joint, walks up to me and says:

Sterg: "See that awesome blonde cashing out by the bar?

Hootch: Yeah.

Sterg: She's coming to the Casino with us.

Hootch: Nice...but I cant help but notice there seems to be something missing about her.

Sterg: What? You mean like a personality or something?

Hootch: No man, fucking eyebrows. I dont think she has any eyebrows. She's kinda freaky looking.

Anyway, we arrived at the Casino and decided to get a bite to eat at a restaurant. I cant remember the name of the place but it served the worst bacon and eggs in the history of the world. Everyone sat down except me.

Hootch: I gotta go take a shit.

Sterg: Congratulations.

No eyebrows chick: Do you want us to clap when you come out?

more later on.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Quit my job.

Last day at work is technically next friday, although I ditched today and will probably do the same tomorrow.

So whats the masterplan? I'll give daytrading a serious try see if that can pay the bills and mortgage. If I fall a little behind I'll get Sterg to hire me at his pharmacy... either that or find myself a little street corner and start cranking out the handjobs at $10 a pop.

Went to George Stakis' stag over the weekend. Fucking wild. I'm not really all that tight with Stak any more but damn it was fun. I cant believe I didn't throw up. Me, Mally and Ho starting drinking the hootch as Sterg was driving us to Niagara Falls. Thats were the stag was. We hooked up with Heel and BabyFace at the FallsView Casino. Heel and Babyface are a couple of young cats who work at Sterg's store. They were working the roulette table when we saw them. I was already rocking a pretty good buzz. I introduced myself and ordered us a round of drinks. Heel turned around and said "Thanks. I got you next".

As we watched Heel and Babyface play the outsides on the table, Sterg told me a story that nearly made me piss my pants.

Sterg: Hey Hootch, did I tell you about the time when Mally cock-blocked Heel at a strip joint in Mexico. Heel was with this Mexican chick and he had negotiated to receive a blowjob for $30.

Hootch: $30?!? Was she fucking nasty or something? 30 bones seems a little low.

Heel: Actually it was originally $60 but I had talked her down to 30. She looked like a model, man. She was beautiful.

Sterg: Yeah. Mally wanted us to leave right away but I told him we had to wait for Heel to finish getting his blowjob. Mally was tripping like crazy, though. I think he had some bad shrooms or something cuz he was losing it and wanted to leave asap. I told him "give Heel a few more minutes and we'll leave", but, naw, he wasn't having any of it. He marched right through the VIP section of the club and yelled "Heel, we have no money left".

Hootch: He did?!

Sterg: Yeah. I've never seen strippers clear a room so fast. Even the other strippers working their tricks bailed on their johns cuz no one knew who the fuck Heel was.

Mally: Shit, guy, I was so pissed at you that night. Why the fuck was I paying $22 American for a lapdance when you were getting blowjobs for 30? I might as well have paid the extra $8.

Heel: Anyway, Mal, if you try and cockblock me tonight we are gonna go rounds.

Mally. Okay, whatever. (pointing at the roulette table) Are you up or down?

Heel: I'm down about the cost of 3 blowjobs in Mexico.