Sunday, June 04, 2006

This is Your Brain On Zima

Let me set one thing straight. Let me get this one thing out in the open because I cant live with the secrecy any longer.

I love the Gilmore Girls.

Okay, there...I said it. I know some people think its shit and a faggy show, but not me. I like it. I like the characters and I think its funny. This being said, I still think the show can be improved upon.

If I was responsible for the Gilmore Girls the first thing I would do to improve upon the show is cast myself as a reoccurring special guest. Fans of the Gilmore Girls shouldn't worry though. My character wouldn't do or say anything to upset the integrity of the show. My character would primarily only appear in "shower scenes" with Rory. And I'd occasionally be seen masturbating on the couch while watching Knight Rider on tv. But trust me, it will be tastefully done and wont alter the principles upon which the show was founded on.

The second thing I would do to improve upon the show is recast the role of Rory and give it to someone who looked more like Sylvia Saint. Dont get me wrong. I dig Rory. I dig her alot. I dig the fact that I could probably have a conversation with her and discuss all sorts of cool shit. I can so easily imagine myself having a conversation with Rory about Foucault's influence on the movie the Matrix. Of course, it goes without saying, while we were having this conversation I would be banging her in the ass, but still...the conversation in and of itself would be interesting.

What was I saying again? Oh yeah, recasting Rory. Yeah, Rory is alright but I need my co-stars to look more slutty. Sylvia Saint would fit the bill nicely. She probably would know fuck-all about Foucault, but hey, you cant have everything.

Anyway, this post is pretty retarded so I'm gonna stop.

6 comments:

Melissa said...

Zima? Zima??? Take your panties off junior.

If you get to replace Rory - the lead character - I get to replace Kirk, the town freak, with Albert Pujols. And all I want him to do is stand there with his shirt off and say, "Ju know mang..."

And you can join Rory's book club here: http://thewb.warnerbros.com/web/o_generic_feedback.jsp?id=GG-Rory's%20Book%20Club.

Me said...

Hootch--You aren't the only one who loves the Gilmore Girls. That show is like a freaking car accident...you've gotta look.

I wonder if they'd have to move the show to 9:00 PM, instead of 8:00 PM, if you were to bang Rory in the ass? Hmm....

kattbanjo said...

Isn't that show about boarding school? I was in boarding school for eight years, I don't need to relive it!
Hooch, Zima is a total chicks drink! You're losing some serious manpoints, baby! I linked you on my blog so you better keep your shit funny! lol!

Freak Magnet said...

I did a google on Sylvia Saint and this came up: http://i1.trekearth.com/photos/26757/1.jpg

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

melissa - I was joking about the zima (think of a manly drink, fool). I was actually drinking... wine spritzers (no, no you idiot those are even more wussy; think of a real MANLY drink). oops, ah, haha, just joking again. I wasn't really drinking wine spritzers, I was drinking...urine. yeah thats the ticket, I was drinking urine... dog's urine.

me - the time change way not even be necessary, the anal will be so tastefully and respectfully done.

katt - I'll think of something to regain those manpoints. Maybe hunting or wearing lumberjack jackets.

freak magnet - I have no idea why that pic came up. Under sylvia saint in google images I saw several pics of my future wife

Elaine said...

"Of course, it goes without saying, while we were having this conversation I would be banging her in the ass, but still...the conversation in and of itself would be interesting."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

My God, and I thought there were no more gentlemen on this earth. Obviously I was mistaken.