I Hate Weddings - Part II; Plus Some Unrelated Shit

To recap the incredibly deep and complex happenings of Part I: I went to a wedding. There was this girl there with magnificent tits.

Part II

Early on in the evening I decided to get fucking loaded. On one of my trips to the bar, I found myself standing in line beside her.

"This is a good song to drink to", I heard her say beside me.
"Yeah", I kinda mumbled not knowing if she was talking to me or the million other guys in line.
"I'm Kim", she said and thrust her open hand in front of my own.
"Hi Kim. I'm Hootch", I said as I shook her hand.
"Hi Hootch".

So, now is the part of the conversation where, if I was cool, I'd know exactly what to say to make this chick dig me something serious. But I'm not, so I didn't. Anyway, just then the DJ started playing "Promiscuous" by Nelly Furtado. Kim, the girl with the tits, shrieked gleefully and started dancing and singing with the song, just enough for me to notice. I turned around and caught a glimpse of the expression she was throwing as she was singing and dancing. She looked super-hot, cool and trampy. It was then I knew I wanted to bend her over the dessert and sweets table.

As she continued to enjoy the DJ's musical selection, we made our way up to the front of the bar. It was our turn to order.

"Lemme buy you a drink", I said.
"I thought it was an open bar".
"Lemme buy you two then".
"What are you having, Hootch?"
"I dunno. Probably a vodka and 7".
"Ok. I'll have one too".

We grabbed our drinks and started walking together away from the bar.

"Where are you sitting?" she asked
"I dunno. Nowhere fun". I answered.
"Wanna go for a walk?"
"Sure. Lets swing by the dessert and sweets table".

too tired to go on with this account for now. I'll continue tomorrow or the next day, maybe. But to keep you further bored and perplexed as to why you visit my blog, I will now present you with some unrelated shit:

unrelated shit item #1: Eating vast amounts of Lucky Charms over the past two days has turned my shit bright green. Either that or I'm turning into the Incredible Hulk from the inside - out.


unrelated shit item #2: I think someone at work today spiked the raisin buns with a type of laxative. After two of those suckers I had to run like fuckin Carl Lewis to reach the shitter in time. Thirty minutes after doing my "business", Jawad comes from the same bathroom and says " yo, someone just left a green turd in the toilet".

Whooopseee.

And with these charming thoughts, I bid you adieu, for now.