Thursday, November 02, 2006

The NBA and my Bookie

Well, another NBA season has just kicked off and my balls are already tingling with anticipation and excitement. Despite being a sexy "dark-horse" pick, my beloved Toronto Raptors will end up sucking more balls than Marianne in a room full of talentless wiggers.

My bookie has an over/under regular season wins proposition bet for every team in the league. The Raps over/under number is 38. 38!! Motherfucker, just gimme my money now cuz there is no way the Raps are gonna win anywhere near 38 games.

My bookie has the Denver Nuggets over/under regular season wins proposition bet set at 42. Crazy. Over, motherfuck. When the Nuggets run no one will be able to keep up with them, especially at home.

I'm thinking about taking the Nuggets today +4.5 points over the Clips.

I'm also thinking of revenge fucking Marianne's ugly-assed sister.


Tbone Stallone said...

Dude, gambling, much like prostonography and cocaine, offers the immediate satisfaction that the wife does not.
Easy money or not, the bookie is really just betting against the chance of your death before the end of the regular season.

Stick to taking the over on every Mavs home game who's point tot is under 205, and you'll be smoking Cubans, next to a Sri Lankan whore named "Hed" and counting the frozen emeralds in your straight Grey Goose, cause who the fuck uses ice anymore, when you have freezer full of precious jewels.

2 Dollar Productions said...

Tbone is right about the Mavs as I have been a Dallas fan for about 20 years.

As for the Raptors, you're just asking for misery.

They have T.J. Ford now right?

Tbone Stallone said...

And PJ Tucker - you better recognize

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

tbone and $2 - 'bout time the raps got some guys in here with some balls from TX.

The #1 pick, Andrea Bargnani, received plenty favorable comparisons to Disco Dirk Nowitzki, from the know-nothing experts here in Toronto.

Unfortunately, during the last game he looked more like Andrea Bocelli.
For documentation purposes:
Detroit (- 2) over the Celtics
Knicks (+3) over Hotlanta

Freak Magnet said...

You know, I love you, Hootch. But when you start talking sports and bets, all I hear is "blah, blah, blah".

Can't wait for football and basketball season to be over with. Have the had the whole series yet?