Friday, November 17, 2006

top 10 hot black chicks I'd make the 2ble back beast with

#9 Rihanna

What can I say? Rihanna's physical attributes are proof positive that God does exist. Her mind is also proof that He has a sense of humour as well. However, we are not here to discuss the IQ of one of the music industry's hottest, most successful and exploited mindless fuck machines of recent memory. We are here to discuss her bonage factor.

I remember when I saw Rhianna's first video "Pon De Replay" (translation: I blew half of Def Jam for my contract) , I thought "I need to replenish my supply of jerk-chicken flavoured lube".

But it wasn't until her second video "S.O.S." that Rihanna really became a star in my eyes. It was with that young, fun, summertime video that Rihanna really started to climb the charts of chicks I masterbate to. She had made it all the way to #2, just ahead of #3 Clay Aiken, but not quite enough to usurp Ann Coulter who had been holding down the #1 position ever since the devil gave birth to her.

With Rihanna's third video... I dont even know what to say, yo. I'm rocking a chubby even thinking about it. With Rihanna's third video she reached a level of superstardom few have experienced; a degree of fame and artisitc greatness reserved for the likes of Weird Al Yancovich, Gary Busey, Emilio Estevez and Hall & Oates. Her video "Unfaithful" had me out of my mind. It was like a blow-up, full-out, kung-fu grip, double fisted masturbatory assault on my Higgins, my penis. I was pumping so earnestly I required a constant stream of mazola oil poured on Higgins to prevent him from catching on fire from the enormous friction being generated.

Anyway, I've gone on too long. Rihanna, hands down (and penises up) is in my top 10 hot black chicks list. Book it.

3 comments:

Freak Magnet said...

I absolutely, totally, and completely ABHOR "Unfaithful". Every time I hear it, I want to stick hot pokers in my ears.

Sounds you'd like to stick her with a hot poker, eh?

Me said...

"Unfaithful," as a song, does suck.

She is hot though; I'll give you that much.

I had forgotten about the Higgins nickname...that was a fun game, naming him...now I'm gonna be thinking about your dick all night long. ;)

Your Girl Friday said...

Every time I see that SOS filmclip, I wonder if her tits really are that good, or if they are fake, or if it's the dress, or the lighting...

but whatever, im insanely jealous.

Great boobs.

Bitch.