Wednesday, November 15, 2006

My new project

Courtney Love - Mono
give us brilliant boys we wanna fuck
full of ecstasy, hard drugs and bad luck

I'm thinking about starting a new website where I will offer my services by documenting my sports bets. I'll call it "your_broke_ass.com" or maybe "win_disposable_income_to_procure_handjobs_from_hookers.com". Anyway, something classy like that.

There will be a three tier monthly membership fee for the new gambling website. A gold membership will get you my guarantee "Gold Star Pick of the Week".

Whats the guarantee?

I'm glad you asked. The guarantee is - if my Gold Star pick fails the robots on blogsforbush.com will jack you a soda. Dont be fooled, blogsforbush.com may look like a pro george bush website, but its really just about the biggest vaginas in the world (probably the same thing; you say tomato...)

Ice T - The Girl Tried to Kill Me
She took me to her crib last night, leather and spikes
broke out the rope and the dope strobe light
and started buggin', lighting candles all over the room
then she did a backflip, landed on my dick
I knew that I would be dead soon

A silver membership will buy you my second tier picks. These are the picks I make where I dont really give a shit about what happens in the game, win or lose. I mostly give out these picks to the scum of earth, you know, dog rapists, republicans, guys who spend 1 hour on their hair trying to achieve that messy, spikey hair look.

A bronze membership will purchase you a set of glossy photos of me boning chicks that look like Condaleeza Rice (aka James Brown) and incorporating wrestling moves into our love-making. The pile-driver and camel clutch are my favs. Nothing says "I care for you" quite like throwing Condy across the room after she finishes rim-jobbing you.

Body Count - There Goes The Neighbourhood
There goes the neighbourhoooooooood

Gold Star picks - Nuggets +5.5

Carmelo Anthony, motherfuckers, Carmelo Anthony.

6 comments:

2 Dollar Productions said...

Keep your eye on 'Melo, he might have turned the corner but I don't entirely trust him.

And your tier approach might need a bit more fleshing out, but it's a promising start.

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

$2 - Labron and Wade are more well rounded players, but there is something about Melo I love.

The tier thing, I gotta create another tier for picks I make while inebriated (sp?)

Freak Magnet said...

Could you explain the whole gambling thing to me? Because, dude, I am, like, so lost.

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

freak magnet - the gambling web site works like this - you give me money for membership. I spend it on skanks. See? Easy peasy.

Denver (+5.5) vs Orlando.
Whatever the score in the basketball game you add 5.5 points xtra on Denver's total because they were underdogs (ie Denver 99 + the 5.5, Orlando 108).

Denver loses :(

lastlifeinmyuniverse said...

those lucky skanks.

nobich said...

on skanks? hey i'm in!!