Friday, November 03, 2006

I'll Take Revenge Fucking for $1000, Alex

Sumuna bitch!! The Knicks have more trouble keeping basketballs out of their basket than Marianne has keeping penises out of her vagina.

Yesterday I had a dream Marianne caught me revenge fucking her fat assed sister. I'd be doing the 700pd sister sidewinder style so I could get in a good bicep workout as I lift and hold her 150 pd leg in the air. Marianne would walk in and see us. She'd cry "Hooootch, I know things have been strained between us but did you really have to go and make love to my sister?" And I'd be like "Sorry, Marianne. I thought it'd make for good blog material..." aaaand apparently judging from the beginning of this blog entry I'd be wrong.

Anyway, a conversation I had yesterday with Sterg:

Hootch: What'd you do last night?

Sterg: Got a phone call from this super hot chick.

Hootch: Was it a wrong number?

Sterg: Fuck off.

Hootch: Haha. I've been sitting on that line for a while.

Sterg: Where'd you get it from?

Hootch: I heard it on Supernatural.

Sterg: Isn't that show for fags?

Hootch: I watch it.

Sterg: So it is for fags.

Hootch: For real, its amazing, yo. I just finished watching season one on dvd. Its fuckin awesome. Each episode is like a little movie its so fucking good, you know?

Sterg: Yeah well, Blade 3 was a movie and that sucked balls.

Hootch: You saw Blade 3?

Sterg: Yeah. Me and Mally rented it. Its shit.

Hootch: I heard that Wesley Snipes is in trouble for back taxes, or something.

Sterg: I think Wesley Snipes is fucking crazy. I think he actually thinks he is Blade... Maybe thats why he doesn't pay any taxes.

Hootch: Yeah, he figures he does enough for society by killing vampires. He doesn't need to do any more by paying his taxes.

Sterg: Hey, I'm almost afraid to ask but have you finally got 'round to doing your taxes for last year?

Hootch: No. Not yet.

Sterg: Well, what are you waiting for, motherfucker. Either start killing some vampires or get that shit taken care of.

Hootch: Yeah, okay. Me, Corey Haim and Corey Feldman are on it.

Sterg: And not to be a prick, or anything, but if you see Jamie Gertz tell her I thought she'd grow up to be hotter.

8 comments:

Me said...

Ohh....better do your taxes...that, or go live in Santa Carla--the vampire capital of the world. ;)

lastlifeinmyuniverse said...

her sis reminds me of a video butchie posted in my myspace. heres the link. http://www.myspace.com/lastlifeinmyuniverse

2 Dollar Productions said...

Never bet on the Knicks as those bastards are piss-poor and will be for many years to come.

Sidewinder style - good choice.

Tbone Stallone said...

Nothing like a good old Jamie Gertz call out to end a confab. Kudos

Melissa said...

Get over her already.

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

me - I'm still debating between the two.

lastlife - What can I say? Thats classic Butch. Nice site by the way. Awesome music selection.

$2 - the sidewinder is vastly underappreciated, I think. I like the flexibility it gives me as when I'm not doing bicept curls with the leg, it frees up my hand for the reacharound.

tbone - I thought Jamie Getz was gonna be huge after Lost Boys. Same goes for Phoebe Kates after Gremlins.

Melissa - you might as well ask the earth to stop spinning around the sun... or ask tbone to give up mind-altering substances.

Tbone Stallone said...

Hootch, I believe talent not wet weather looks were each's success constraint.

Girl Behind You said...

You, Corey Haim and Corey Feldman get right on it.
Gertz lol No comment needed you said it all!