Wednesday, November 15, 2006

the top ten black chicks I would perform coitus with

In no particular order, the top 10 black chicks I would perform coitus with:

#10 Ciara

Ciara would make my list even if it was just on the strength of her "Goodies" video. This masterpiece is clearly the artisitc and cultural highmark in hot black chick videos I masturbate to. The way she busts out into the Matrix move then looks at you with that kind of mean snarl as if she's saying "buckle up, whiteboy, I'm about to fuck you into next week" is crazy hot, yo, crazy hot!! This video is good for at least 3 cranks a day, remarkably high when you consider the song is only 3 minutes and 23 seconds long. That works out to a ratio of 1.076 cranks per minute of video footage. A ratio that ventures nearly into porno territory.

Sure there are the nay-sayers out there who attempt to slander Ciara by saying she was born with a penis. But hey, who among us hasn't slept with someone we weren't quite certain of their gender? I know I have. In fact, just the other night I was bumping uglies with someone whose gender was difficult to determine... difficult to determine that is until she introduced herself to me as your mother.

NewCootch once told me "you can tell Ciara was a man. Just look at her hands". I thought, "trust me, you barely functioning retard, her hands are the last thing Ima be thinking of when I'm imagining Ciara sitting on my face grinding her cookie into my yap.

#9 coming shortly

5 comments:

Me said...

Hmm...why do I think that as a white girl, you'd never pay the slightest bit of attention to me? LOL.

lastlifeinmyuniverse said...

i guess this means im definitely out of the running lol

Freak Magnet said...

I haven't seen the Goodies video, and don't think I've ever seen a pic of Ciara.

You should videotape your exploits with her and post it on the internet so I know what you mean.

Mr. Fabulous said...

Oh man...it's a cliffhanger? One at a time?

BTW, I was born with a penis.

Tbone Stallone said...

That post was automatic...
I'm going to have to second that motion, all in favor of Ciara grinding faces with said cookiedough, say 'I'