Friday, November 10, 2006

My thoughts on the Artist formally known as the wigger chick on juice - aka Fergie Ferg

Even if she was a war-pig I think I would still dig Fergie's new song. Her mastery and skillful manipulation of the English language in rhyming "conceited" with "eat it" is fucking rad. It brings back memories of me in University studying Keats... if Keats was a smoking hot blonde chick who looked like she only banged black guys.

So, its official. I am going on the record as being a Fergie fan. I am particularly pleased that she decided to soften her image a little and move away from the "super-fit, angry, juice bag chick" look. I think this move will definitely increase her sales... as well as the number of times I masturbate to her on an hourly basis.

Yes, as it turns out, Fergie is firmly entrenched in the #2 spot on my list of "Blonde Singer Chicks I Would Love To Have Anal With". #1 is Gwen Stefani, and #3 is Jesse McCartney.


Last night I lost the St. Lou bet.

Tonight I gots alot of action:

Nashville to beat Detroit (this one pays off like a motherfucker if I win)
Anaheim to beat Calgary
Atlanta +5 to beat my beloved Raps
New Orleans -1.5 to anal rape Portland
Utah Jazz - 2.5 to beat the Celts
and finally Detroit +5 to cover against the Lake Show.

I'm looking forward to going 0 - 6 tonight.

4 comments:

Freak Magnet said...

I'm liking Fergielicious in spite of myself. I'm Freakilicious.

lastlifeinmyuniverse said...

im surprised fergie is even on that list.

julia said...

Maybe I can't take her because her in-your-face sexuality isn't really my style. And I don't have a penis.

Fergelicious is kind of good. An improvement from London Bridge (such a lady but I'm dancin' like a ho!), but she can't quite get away with an entire song about herself the way Jay-Z can. You know?

2 Dollar Productions said...

Fergie's body can't be beat, but if you don't catch her face with the right lighting it can be a dicey proposition.

Details, but . . .