Oops. Did I say Angela Lansbury? I meant to say Courtney Love.
I know, I know, Courtney Love is clearly insane and not all that pretty to begin with (even after all the plastic surgery), but there is something about her that makes me want to bend her over my grandparents plastic covered furniture and go to town on dat ass. Maybe it’s the fact that she looks like the biggest gutter tramp I’ve ever seen and no matter what sick, perverted, disgusting things I suggest I do to her in the sack, she’d always say something like "Mmmm, that sounds like fun. Lets do it, then smoke some crack. Then do it again."
Maybe then she’d sing songs about me instead of that loser from The Strokes. Yes, songs about me because I’m a winner. Songs like "IDigHootchAndCootch, your balls in my mouth taste like Certs breathmints". Yes, if given the opportunity I would certainly make sweet sweet butt love to Courtney love.
Ahhhg, who are we kidding? I’d tap Angela Lansbury too.