Tuesday, May 16, 2006

IDigHootchandCootch Remakes the Movie “Pretty Woman”

If I was responsible for rewriting the movie "Pretty Woman" it would have been a whole lot better than the shitfest it actually was.

I would have had Julia Roberts transmit some fatal and incurable STD to Richard Gere, and he would be like "Julia, I don’t care I contracted your disease that’s going to kill us both within the next 8 months. I’d rather spend 8 months with you than an eternity with any other woman".

Then Julia would say "Oh Richard, I love you. These are going to be the best 8 months ever".

"That’s right, Julia baby. These ARE going to be the best 8 months ever". Richard would say. Then he would step out in the middle of the street and get hit by a bus.

I, of course, would then win an academy award for best comedy. And my new-found fame would afford me endless nights of debauchery with Bea Arthur and Betty White.


Melissa said...

Right on, Maude.

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

Melissa - yeah, I think I can bring out the pornorific grrrl in her.

Sometimes Maude gets a bad rap cuz she's rocking the big bird in the burlap sack look. But when she starts busting out the glow sticks, look out!! That girl can party with the best of them.

The Boob Lady said...

Um, what about Rue McLanahan? Fucking Blanche not good enough? Jesus.. Estelle Getty? Come on!!