The below conversation took place between me and Sterg while doing cardio on the stairmaster at 6am last Sunday. Its almost exactly like we were Dorothy Parker and her crew sitting at the Algonquin Round Table discussing the hot topics of the period....except we're partially retarded...and neither of us know who the fuck Dorothy Parker is.
H: ohhh, fuck I think I'm gonna die.
S: me too.
H: I dont know how much longer I can last
S:me neither...Is it me or do you also feel intense cramping on the left side of your chest.
H: no. no cramping with me...but I think my lungs may have collapsed.
S: how long have we been on for?
H: I dunno. It feels like at least a fuckin hour.
S: take a look at the display monitor. It'll give you all our workout details.
H: alright. Ahhh....it says "Time Elapsed 1 minute and 05 seconds; Calories Burned 15; Distance Traveled 0.01 mile".
S: Fuck this. this is bullshit. I should just go on roids.
H:Yeah, next time we should inject ourselves with some anabolics before the cardio.
(Old geriatric woman beside us gives us a weird look)
S: Hey, you coming over this afternoon to watch the world cup.
H: Yeah, I should be able to make it. Who you routing for?
S: France, man. Zidane's the man.
H: Yeah, I know. Zidane is so manly he may score a goal with his balls tonight.
S: Oh, I forgot to ask - how is NewCootch working out?
H: Oh, fuck. She's fucking useless.
H: yeah. But yesterday she wore this really low-cut fuckin shirt. You could see the inside curve of both her tits - nice! I felt like giving her a brumski right there at her desk.
S: What the fuck's a brumski".
H: A brumski is when you bury your face in between a chicks tits and yell BRRRRRUMSKI.
S: What the fuck is that supposed to do?
H: I dunno, but chicks love it.
S: Chicks love the brumski?!?!
H: Chicks love the brumski, dude. Its scientifically proven. Nine outta 10 chicks agree, the brumski gives them more pleasure than receiving oral
H: True dat
S: Awesome. I should try the brumski out on Laura tonight.
H: Yeah. Lemme know how it works out for ya.