Thursday, November 01, 2007

'tis the season for a good market ass-rape

Made good money yesterday. Today was an absolute, fucking misery. I need a fucking break. Too much second-guessing is driving me crazy. Plus dealing with all the fucking morons on a number of different stock forums isn't helping either.

Went to the book store last night. Picked up a couple of books by Bukowski - Ham on Rye and Factotum. Looking forward to reading them.

Today I go into work. Put in the big 5 hour shift then stay after hours to help set up the Christmas decorations. Apart from me, Sterg said he only asked the best looking chicks in the store to stay and help out. Nice. Hopefully I can negotiate some type of menage, on top of a mountain of Doritos, between me the black chick and the chinese girl. So, just in case you are in Toronto and wondering what that stain is on the bag of your Doritos - Extra Zesty bag of chips, you'll know. Its my shit stain.

If I cant work the black chick and the chinese girl menage, I'll target the cosmetician that looks like a young Cameron Diaz with a fatter ass. If she's a no-go, I'll attempt the pretty greek girl for a quickie over the magazine stand. If she refuses I'll ask the black manager who is borderline ugly. If she says no I'll have no other option but to just rape the gay guy (just kidding... he probably wants me).

8 comments:

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Cameron Diaz with a fat ass. Mmmm.

2 Dollar Productions said...

Bukowski is an author I know more about as a person versus his actual books as I've only read a couple.

When you get through those, post something is possible because I'm interested to see if they're worth it.

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

lightning - cameron back in her day was in my top 3.

$2 - I've read his books before, long ago, and they are worth the read. I am a big fan of the way he structures his prose. Sometimes though the content can be a little repetitive - I met this woman. She was a great lay. Too bad she is crazy. We got drunk together last night...

EmmaK said...

hey, slow down, no need to resort to rape. Just put a bag on the black manager's head while you fuck her. If she's really ugly wear a bag on your head too. That's a situation that in the UK they call a 'double bagger', use two bags in case one falls off. Glad to have been of help ;)

Franki said...

Do all dudes have a sex priority list? Fascinating.

Elaine said...

It sucks that Cameron has no ass to speak of now. But remember her in "The Mask"? she was so hawt.

Melissa said...

Bukowski is fucking brilliant, some Canadian asshole got me hooked.

And as a note to a previous post of yours, if you're still fucking the rippers you deserve an STD.

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

Emmak - I put a bag on my head when I pleasure myself.

Franki - yes, and your mom is number 1 (just kidding... I bet your mom is hot though.)

Elaine - She's never looked better than in The Mask and in Feeling Minnesota.

Melissa - Why? Strippers need (anal) love too.