In an effort to remedy my medical condition scientifically know as "blue balls". I invited NewCootch over to my house yesterday after work. I told her we can watch some DVDs and hang out. She agreed and met me at my house around 11 last night.
Again, the plan was to watch a few episodes of Family Guy and hopefully, by the end of the night, we'd be banging it doggie-style to Season 5 of The Gilmore Girls. Here is what happened:
Hootch: You alright?
Hootch: You comfortable and everything?
NC: Yeah, thanks.
Hootch: So, ahhhh... whatchu saying?
NC: Oh. My. Gawd.
NC: You want to have sex.
NC: You want to have sex. HAHAHA, I knew it!! Thats why you invited me over here tonight. Cuz you thought, what? That'd I'd come over, watch a dvd, have something to eat and then, what? I'd just suck you off or something?
Hootch: (well, I was kinda hoping...) I... I.. I am insulted. I thought "we haven't seen each other in a while so it would be nice to just catch up. Thats all.
NC: Yeah, right.
Hootch: Whatever, like you dont want to anyway.
NC: Ahhh, excuse me. I have a boyfriend.
Hootch: Whatever, if you knew I wanted to have sex, but you didn't, why did you come over here then?
NC: I was hoping I was wrong. And I was hoping you had matured a little.
Hootch: Oh, come on. Dont give me that bullshit again... is it that same guy you are seeing?
Hootch: The weirdo.
NC: Geoffrey is not weird. He is sensitive and romantic.
Hootch: What, and I'm not?!!?
NC: No, Hootch, you are not. In your blog you referred to me as "NewCootch", that doesn't qualify you as sensitive or romantic. On the other hand, do you know what Geoffrey gave me the other day?
Hootch: The clap?
NC: It was raining one night and he went outside and collected a bottle of rainwater and labeled it "November 15, 2007 - an evening with NewCootch". Isn't that romantic?
Hootch: That is the gayest fucking thing I have ever heard.
NC: Figures you would think so.
Hootch: I hope you haven't slept with him yet.
NC: We've only been seeing each other a little while now, so of course I haven't slept with him.
NC: I've only blown him.
Hootch: I just cant win lately. I'm going to the bathroom to jack myself a soda.