The Cameron Diaz chick with the fat ass is even more pretty than I remember. At work, the other day, as I turned the corner and headed for the Cosmetics booth, I nearly ran into her. I stood there, face to face with possibly the most beautiful girl I've even seen in my life and was unable to say anything. "SAY SOMETHING, YOU DOLT!!" my mind yelled in command but my eyes and heart could not comply. I just stood there staring. It could have been for a few seconds or half an hour, it was hard to tell. The Cameron Diaz chick with the fat ass was so beautiful the laws of time and space did not apply where we stood.
Finally she broke the silence. In the nano-second it took for her words to reach my ears I contemplated the possibility that she was gonna ask me on a date, or to the movies, or to sit on my face. But instead she sneered and said "why dont you take a picture, it lasts longer".
What a cunt.
"I would but I don't have a panoramic, wide lens to fit your ass in the shot".
And with that, I'm pretty sure I blew any chance of hooking up with Cameron Diaz with the fat ass.