Friday, November 09, 2007

I fucking hate working on weekends... even if they are the only 10 hours I work in the week

Alright. So, today started out pretty good. I woke up, got on the computer and fired one off to a new MPEG of Sylvia Saint blowing some lucky bastard. Wicked.

After I finished spraying the ceiling I noticed the appearance of the man who received the blow job. He easily looked like the ugliest degenerate on the face of God's green earth. That's when I decided I should become a porn star. I mean, if the money and the drugs were all the same, I'm sure every porn director and actress would prefer to have me in their movie rather than that animal. I'd be a pretty awesome porno star too, I think. I'd bring adult entertainment more in the mainstream by using my new found fame to tackle social and political injustices.


(At the Adult Movie Awards; Over the Public Address system)

PA Announcer: And now to present the award for Best Male Performance in a Menage, here is the star of "Platapussy" and "69 Things to do in Denver When you're Dead", put your hands together for Hootch.

(Audience cheers; Camera cuts to Sylvia Saint smiling, enjoying the evenings festivities)

Hootch: Good evening everyone. Tonight I'm here to announce the best male performance in a menage. The nominees are $2 Dollar Productions, in "V for Vagina", Charlie Shame for "30 Days of Poon", Ligtning Bug's Butt for "Things We Lost in Her Poon and last but not least, J7 for "Dan in Real Life - the director's cut"

(Audience applauds)

Hootch: But before we hand out the award for Best Lead Male in a Menage, I'd like to get serious for a second and talk to you about Darfur....

Yeah, I'm pretty sure thats how I would roll as a porn star.

1 comment:

J7 L7+ said...

I'm no poofy boy, but the dudes in porno have historically been pretty greazy-looking. What's up with showing the dude's face before the money shot? That shit's gotsta go.