Friday, November 09, 2007

Can I sweet talk'em, or what?

On my way to the change-room, at work yesterday, I passed by superhotchinese girl walking with a friend. Their shift was just ending and mine was beginning. Superhotchinesegirl was wearing black tights and a red and black thick utilitarian-looking flannel shirt. It was indeed a bizarre combination for a hot looking chick to be wearing. For a second there I was reminded of an old girlfriend named Dida. Dida's fashion sense was anything but conventional. She looked like she dropped acid everyday before she decided to dress herself.

Anyway, back to superhotchinese girl. I caught this part of superhotchinesegirl and her friend's conversation as they were approaching me:

Friend: I like your shirt. It looks flannel.

SHCG: Yeah, it is. Its so comfortable. I bought it at (some store I've never heard of). It was so expensive. I read somewhere that flannel is coming back.

I decided to astound all with my wit. I thought about busting out into dance and singing "she's bringing flannel back...", but decided to go with the below:

Hootch: Oh, superhotchinesegirl, I was wondering if you could help me?

SHCG: What's up?

Hootch: I have this massive tree in my backyard and I was wondering if you could come over, maybe, and help me chop it down.

SHCG & Friend: (blank expression on both their faces)

Hootch: Because... because... you are wearing a checkered flannel shirt, you see....

SHCG & Friend: (blank expression on both their faces)

Hootch: ... and you maybe look like a lumberjack.


Hootch: Yes... no... on second thought... its just the flannel shirt. They are not normally worn by someone so attractive as yourself. They are normally worn by the likes of someone closer to your friend's appearance. Anyway, lumberjacks dont wear black tights so I clearly dont know what I'm talking about.

SHCG & Friend: (Silence)

Hootch: And even if you did look like a lumberjack, you'd clearly be the most attractive lumberjack I've ever seen... which i guess wouldn't be hard considering all the lumberjacks I've seen, so far, have crazy facial hair and are 300 pounds overweight.

SHCC: Is that supposed to make it better?!?!

Hootch: (silent, thinking of my next move)

SHCG & Friend: (silent, waiting for an answer)

Hootch: "she's bringing flannel back / them other boys dont know how to act..."

SHCG: Just get out of my way.

In retrospect, I should have lead off with the Justin's "SexyBack". Oh well, I'll get'em next time.


Tequila Mockingbird said...

i think youre going about this the wrong way. since she is super hot, and hanging out with a not so hot broad, she obviously has low self esteem.... soooo this is the way you play it, chat up her homely friend, almost completely ignoring her. she will be on her knees with zeal before you know it.

at least that's how i play it and it seems to work out well with the ladies. or maybe it's my fanfuckingtastic rack. either way, you are welcome for my sage advice.

EmmaK said...

I wouldn't sweat it...the hot chick obviously has no sense of well as no sense of style.

Franki said...

Dude, she was obviously a dyke. She was wearing flannel...DUH!

lastlifeinmyuniverse said...

treat em like shit and they'll come begging for it.