Thursday, October 19, 2006

If you dont like my fire, then dont come around, cuz I'm gonna burn one down

With my gambling picks sucking more dick than marianne, I've decided to switch it up a bit. Yesterday, on Lost, John, looking for answers, zipped himself up in a tent and found guidance while burning down a blunt. Today, I did the same... more or less. I locked myself in my garage and smoked some of the shittiest weed $20 can buy. The purpose of this exercise in fucking retardedness is to find tonight's winners. With my Kreskin-like 8 - 7 mark on the line, I declare the Cardinals and the Pittsburg Penguins my stoner picks of the day. Suprising? Yes, even to myself as I had intended to drop a bill on the Mets, but the weed has spoken and it likes St. Lou and Pitt, so we will see what happens.

On to yesterday's business. We took Scott out. It was me, Matt, Ik-Soon and the guest of honour, Scotty. Before I go on any further I should mention that I hate Ik-Soon. Its, like, he's always 100 mph and talks way too fucking much for someone who knows nothing.

A few months ago Ik-Soon sent an e-mail asking everyone in the office to start calling him "Rick". He didn't like the name "Ik-Soon" so much and prefered a more North American handle. Ever since that day I publically dubbed Ik-Soon, Rick-Soon. Needless to say he fucking hates me too.

Anyway, going on with the account: Matt and Rick-Soon arrived at my house about an hour before we were to pick up Scott.

Matt: Any ideas where to take Scott?

Hootch: We can always go to the rippers if we want.

Rick-Soon: I know this girl, for a bit of cash she'll show Scotty a nice time.

Matt: Sounds good. Where does she work?

Rick-Soon: Church and Jarvis.

Hootch: Church and Jarvis? Whats the name of the club?

Rick-Soon: She doesn't really work out of a club. She's more self-employed.

Matt: How will we meet her then. Do we have to make an appointment, or something?

Rick-Soon: She doesn't really take appointments. If we just drive by the corner of Church and Jarvis I'm sure we'll see her there.

Matt: What? The corner? You wanna set Scott up with a hooker?!?

Hootch: I dont know if I am comfortable with getting Scott a hooker. Think of the health implications.

Matt: Yeah, I know. What happens if Scott contracts a disease?

Hootch: Actually I was more concerned for the health of the hooker.


nobich said...

So did anybody get lucky

2 Dollar Productions said...

Cards took it in the 9th, and I guess the inspiration from Locke was worth it, although there's not too many bad reasons to do the same thing.

Freak Magnet said...

You're going to corrupt poor Scott.

Me said...

Why do I want to hang out with you and your friends???


Melissa said...

Sugar, I could have told you St. Lou for free. Right now MLB is orbiting around Albert Pujoles - because he's just that fabulous.

question girl said...

Actually I was more concerned for the health of the hooker

i saw it comming and i STILL laughed my ass of when i read it!