Tommy: Hey, Hootch. Me and you have always been pretty tight, right? I mean, if I tell you something in confidence you're not going to immediately rat me out to my brother, right?
Hootch: Yeah, Tommy, me and you are cool. Why? Whats going on? You okay?
Tommy: Yeah, yeah. Its about the new girl I'm seeing. I think tonight we may have sex for the first time with each other and I'm a little nervous. You know its been a little while since my last girlfriend...
Hootch: Dont worry about it, brother. I bet she is way more nervous than you are. There is no pressure. Just have fun. Enjoy it, man.
Tommy: What about condoms? Before I'd just steal a Trojan from my brother, but now he's stopped using condoms with his chick.
Hootch: Your brother is barebacking it?
Tommy: Yeah.
Hootch: Nice.
Tommy: Anyway, with the condom, what kind should I use?
Hootch: Well, if she's dirty, grab the thickest fucking condom you can buy... and then wear two.
Tommy: No, come on, man. I'm serious.
Hootch: Okay. Alright. Sorry. What kind were you thinking of buying.
Tommy: What about those special kind. The... ah... the... whatchuma call them? The ruffles kind.
Hootch: Ruffles?! Holy fuck, Tommy. I dont know if you mean "ribbed" or if you're planning on sticking your dick in a bag of potato chips.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Ruffles made me immediately think of a frilly dress. A frilly condom. Hmm...
I just want to know how quickly you talked to his brother about this issue.
I'm with Deuce, how long before you discussed the barebacking? And if she had a sister?
Potato chip flavored pee pee.
Hmmm. I'd go down...er...I mean, I'm down with that.
"If this is gonna be that type of party, I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes."
LOL funniest shit ive read in a long time.
Post a Comment