Tuesday, July 24, 2007

phone call at work

Today at work I got a phone call from X. For those of you who dont know, X is this cool-cat Tunisian hipster who use to work at shithole co with me until his work Visa expired. He also use to rent out my basement so every weekend I had the pleasure of hearing him sodomize a broad array of willing and vocal female participants.

Anyway, X is now in Belgium and doing pretty well I'm happy to say. Just before lunch I get a call from him on my work line.

X: Hootch? Hey, how are you doing, man!!

Hootch: X?! Hey, brother, whats going on? Hey everybody (I announce to my department) its X on the phone.

X: I'm doing good. I'm doing real good.

Hootch: Good, I'm happy to hear that. Are you still in Belgium or have they thrown you out of the country yet?

X: Yeah, I'm still in Belgium but I'm on vacation right now. Right now I'm in Amsterdam.

Hootch: Wow thats awesome, dude. Hold on, I'm gonna put you on speaker phone so you can say "hi" to everyone.

X: No, no, no, man, dont put me on speaker phone. I'm zzzzzzzzsssssssszzzzssss (static interference)

Hootch: You're what? The line cut in and out there. I couldn't hear what you said.

X: Dont put me on speaker phone, brother, I'm zzzzsszzsszzszzsz (more static)

Hootch: What? You're gonna have to speak up. The line is cutting in and out. Listen, I'm gonna put you on speaker phone real quick. Just say hello to everyone. Everyone keeps asking about you, dude. They miss you. They keep on saying how you were like a little brother to them. (I click the "speakerphone on" button and turn up the volume)

X: (on speakerphone) No, no, man, no speakerphone. I just took a hit of xtasy so all I wanna do now is go into this bordello and powerfuck the first chick I see. You wont believe what 50 euros will get you over here.

The timing couldn't have been better. Go gettem, X. Throw in a couple pumps for me and maybe even a little titty squeeze.


Me said...

Hmm...I know that when I take a hit of X, the first thing I want to do is call you as well.

Must be a universal thing. ;)

2 Dollar Productions said...

You couldn't have timed that better in a movie, and I wouldn't have believed it either (although I do believe what 50 will buy you in Amsterdam.). Hilarious.

whatigotsofar said...

Funny shit. So, how was your trip to Belgium? (I'm assumming that writing this post is the last thing you did before hopping on a transatlantic flight.)

Freak Magnet said...

You're such a bastard. A FUNNY one, but a bastard, nonetheless.

Anonymous said...


and me's comment - hilarious.

J7 L7+ said...

I get my X from 50 Cent (you can find him in the club, and he often has a bottle full of bub).

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

me - hmmm...is it getting hot in here?

$2 - x has been to a million different cities throughout the world but he said all of them put together dont hold a candle to amsterdam.

whatigot - Belgium? Never been. I think its probably more or less like canada - non-offensive place that everyone, apart from its citizens, seem to forget exists.

freakmagnet - maybe I can be in the next austin powers move as "funny bastard" or "fatter bastard".

jenn - it was a beautiful moment.

j7 - I also hear he's into having sex not into making love

Elaine said...

me pretty much said it for everyone.

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

elaine... I should tell you I have a thing for Phillipino chicks... and black chicks and white chicks and chinese chicks, and durty chicks and clean chicks...

question girl said...


A. said...

hehehe man that's too funny !!!! I'm imagining the scene and lauhing my ass off hahhahaha