Friday, July 06, 2007

conversation with Sterg's younger brother

Tommy: Hey, Hootch. Me and you have always been pretty tight, right? I mean, if I tell you something in confidence you're not going to immediately rat me out to my brother, right?

Hootch: Yeah, Tommy, me and you are cool. Why? Whats going on? You okay?

Tommy: Yeah, yeah. Its about the new girl I'm seeing. I think tonight we may have sex for the first time with each other and I'm a little nervous. You know its been a little while since my last girlfriend...

Hootch: Dont worry about it, brother. I bet she is way more nervous than you are. There is no pressure. Just have fun. Enjoy it, man.

Tommy: What about condoms? Before I'd just steal a Trojan from my brother, but now he's stopped using condoms with his chick.

Hootch: Your brother is barebacking it?

Tommy: Yeah.

Hootch: Nice.

Tommy: Anyway, with the condom, what kind should I use?

Hootch: Well, if she's dirty, grab the thickest fucking condom you can buy... and then wear two.

Tommy: No, come on, man. I'm serious.

Hootch: Okay. Alright. Sorry. What kind were you thinking of buying.

Tommy: What about those special kind. The... ah... the... whatchuma call them? The ruffles kind.

Hootch: Ruffles?! Holy fuck, Tommy. I dont know if you mean "ribbed" or if you're planning on sticking your dick in a bag of potato chips.


Freak Magnet said...

Ruffles made me immediately think of a frilly dress. A frilly condom. Hmm...

H.Wood said...

Don't knock it until you've tried it. I'm partial to BBQ.

2 Dollar Productions said...

I just want to know how quickly you talked to his brother about this issue.

Melissa said...

I'm with Deuce, how long before you discussed the barebacking? And if she had a sister?

Elaine said...

Potato chip flavored pee pee.
Hmmm. I'd go mean, I'm down with that.

J7 L7+ said...

"If this is gonna be that type of party, I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes."

lastlifeinmyuniverse said...

LOL funniest shit ive read in a long time.