Today NewCootch caught me sneaking a peek at the AnimeGirl. She asked me if I liked her. I lied and said "no". I dont think I was very convincing though. NewCootch then told me that AnimeGirl had a boyfriend.
"Who? That guy with the coke-bottle glasses, pocket protector and calculator watch?" I asked.
"Yeah". She answered.
I stood there catatonic. I dont even know what catatonic means but thats how I stood.
The anime girl - single handedly capable of making you believe in both god and the devil all with the same 2 second heat and flash glance. Sure, she looks like she would be kind of a boring, all business, utilitarian lay, but hey, I'd still throw it to her.
"Yesterday, someone told me they liked you". NewCootch continued talking to me.
"Who?" I asked, convinced the answer would be - Lars, the 5000 year old albino Scandanavian from the warehouse.
"D'you now the tall girl downstairs with the really short hair and the dress shirts?"
"Who? The French lesbian?!"
"She's not French. She has a name you know!"
"I know, what is it again, IWishSheWasBetterLooking?"
"Yeah. she likes you."
"She likes me?! She doesn't even know me... Is she really a lesbian? I was just joking with that bit".
"I think she's bi."
"What should I tell IWishSheWasBetterLooking?"
I wanted to say "tell her I pine for the animegirl - that boney assed marvel of the world". But instead I said "tell her nothing", as I thought I still have logs in the fire from the bachelor party last saturday. Then I thought "logs in the fire?!" I dont think thats the proper expression. That sounds kinda homo. Then I thought "I'm such an asshole". Then I thought "mustard". Then I thought "why do all strippers love dolphins?"
Then I though "mustard" again.