Monday, February 18, 2008

I may have slipped into retardation

It would be totally awesome to live in the 25th Century, cuz then you'd get to dress up like this:


Does it really get any more macho than that? Gold tight-assed pants, you carry a jacket just so you can throw it over your shoulder as you proudly display your knarly chesthair. The jacket over the shoulder is a touch of 25th century fashion genius. It says "yeah, I can cover up my hairy chest if I wanted to, but why should I? I'm taking ownership of the manbeast that lives inside me. Just because we live in the 25th century doesn't mean I've lost touch with my primitive instincts".

Totally fucking cool. In fact, in the 25th century you are encouraged to display your manbeast..., or in the following case your man-birdbeast.



AAAAaaaaaaawwwww yeeeeeahh. Thats what I'm talking about. The perfect fusion of 25th century technology, as illustrated by the impenetrable black body armour contrasted with the feathered helmet which represents the vulnerable yet ferocious animal inside us all. KA-kaw, KA-kaw!!

Plus in the 25th century all the women look like this:



Every single woman, like the above. You see, sometime in the 22nd century they held a contest to see who the hottest looking woman was of all time. And as it turns out, Ricky Shroeder's mom, from Silver Spoons, won (followed by that retarded chick from Headlines News who does the mornings - Robyn, I think her name is). Anyway, from that day on, every single female was cloned to look like Ricky Shroeder's mom. This was widely recognized as a positive step in civilization as far too many women, previously, looked like this:

4 comments:

Jake Titus said...

Now that’s 100% pro, all the way. Back to back 70's television shows. First you caught us off guard with the 3's company leather pants secret identity post. It was as distracting as disco ball beams of light striking a gold sequin jacket. Then when weren’t paying attention. . . .Wammo. . . The Buck Rogers rights hook.

Franki said...

Wow, I am so glad I never let anyone take any photos of me topless in my gold lamé pants.

H.Wood said...

Erin Grey at an early age guaranteed my love of vagina. Twiki made me fear everything voiced my Mel Blanc.

2 Dollar Productions said...

You could try to usher this era of gold pants & animal appartus in early, however, I doubt the greeting would be very enthusiastic.

It's hard to be cutting edge. In the interim, dare to dream.