Wednesday, October 24, 2007

who knew Sanford and Son was such an awesome fucking show?!

Wow. Its been a while, hasn't it? Not much has happened to me during the last three weeks. I've rediscovered my love for Sanford and Son on TBS but other than that its been pretty dull.

One of the Cosmeticians at work told me I look good in the store's shirt. That was kinda nice. Too bad I'm not the least bit attracted to her. Not even for a quick doggie. Man, If the black chick with the perfect ass told me something like that I would have immediately thrown her over the front checkout counter, on top of all the lottery tickets, and I'd have been tapping dat ass sidewinder style with A Groovy Kind of Love, by Phil Collins, playing over the store's PA system as the soundtrack to our beastly desires. Damn!! Why couldn't it have been the black chick?!

Trading this week has been going alright. I got in NOT again on Monday at 5.78. Today she's clicking along anywhere from between 6.30 and 6.50 so far. We'll see how long it holds up before I have to sell.

Oh, and I hired some Ukrainian to install a new front door for my house. I think it looks pretty nice. Maybe I'll post a pic if I can find my camera. I'm also gonna see if I can get him to do a bay window for me before the winter comes and fucks everything up.

The last week of November is Tommy's birthday. He's been kinda down ever since things with his (ex)girlfriend have become fucked. The dude has always been susceptible to moodiness but now all he does is bitch about his situation. Anyway, I think we're taking him out to the rippers for his birthday. I may drop a few bills and get Tommy cranked by the most degenerate chick I can find. That should be good for a laugh. Maybe I'll post pics of that too. Or maybe a video of Tommy's pecker as he's about to unload. You wont see the stripper's hand cuz she'll be jacking so fast her fist will be practically invisible to the naked eye. Wow, what a dumb way to end this post.

7 comments:

Me said...

I'm happy you're back on here. :)

Franki said...

Oh I dunno...the first and middle part of the post was kinda boring, but the end made me think about the bionic woman and physics and magic and slight of hand and David Blaine.

Charlie Shame said...

Gonna call out a weak post over here.

You keeping up the carnage motherfucker? I watched Big Top Pee Wee last night. Like I saw that it was about to come on, it started and I didnt change the channel, then it finished and I couldn't do multiplication anymore.

So this is what rock bottom looks like...roomy.

Elaine said...

anxiously awaiting the pics and video of Tommy's birthday.


Sanford and Son is okay, but I'm more partial to the white trash fun that is Roseanne.

2 Dollar Productions said...

No man or woman on Earth could resist turning into a sexual hyena when "A Groovy Kind of Love" comes on. Start that up near BC, and it's on.

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

me - Thanks. I dont deserve you being so nice to me.

Franki - the bionic woman, I wonder if she ever gave steve austin a bionic handjob.

charlie - been down here for a while, man. I should just go back to copying all your older stuff.

Elaine - Lamont should hook up with Rosie.

$2 - I never thought Phil should have changed his name from the one his parents gave him - Phil MaCrakin.

Franki said...

if she did, she prolly only did it once, cuz she prolly ripped it right off.