Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Jimmy Smits vs Rik Smits

Did you know that Jimmy Smits' real-life brother is actually Rik Smits? Not too many people know about this little Hollywood fact. Jimmy Smits tries to keep it under wraps because he is a racist. The fucking Spic hates anything to do with Dutch culture. You name it, if its Dutch he hates it. If it was up to Jimmy Smits windmills, tulips, clogs and cheese would be no more.

If Jimmy Smits is not racist then how come there is not one Dutch person in this picture?

The bastard.

Windmills. Can you believe the heathen would do away with windmills? He is one godless, coldhearted son of a bitch.
Anyway, I challenge Jimmy Smits to contest my above claims. If you really have nothing against the Dutch then all you have to do is leave a comment on my blog saying something like "yo, I love windmills". Now, just in case any Jimmy Smits apologists try and leave a fake message to clear the name of their false idol, I will ask a question that only the real Jimmy Smits will know the answer to.

The question:

Jimmy Smits, when did you lose your virginity and what was the name of the guy that boned you in the ass to take it?

It dont get no mo' gansta than this mothafucka


2 Dollar Productions said...

I bet dunkin' isn't on his list either, although that's more American than Dutch, the Dunkin' Dutchman assimilated it like a man.

Elaine said...

Damn that Jimmy Smits renouncing his clogs and windmills. Sad is a man who doesn't appreciate his culture.

Het regent pijpenstelen!!!

(translation: "Its raining pipe stems"..I'm sure that saying will bring Mr. Jimmy Smits out of the woodwork)

Franki said...

Leave Jimmy alone. His bare ass on NYPD Blue was a great source of tittilation. He's a giver.

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

$2 - I remember one year when indy was in the playoffs they mass produced promotional t-shirts to boost team spirit. The shirts read "Smits happens". I may have to make myself one of those.

elaine - I'm sure Jimmy Smits renouncing windmills is in some way connected to a painful miniput experience.

franki - What I was waiting for on NYPD Blue is a Smits/Franz double bare butt scene. Pick any third character to round out the menage, as long as you have Smits and Franz you really cant go wrong.

Franki said...

I would choose Kevin Spacey.