shit on my mind on this wednesday afternoon

I'm debating whether or not to ask Tera and her implants to come with me to Tommy's birthday party. Tera is a great time, for sure, but she's as crazy as fuck. On the plus side, Tera is a guaranteed lay, for me. Minimal effort but forth and as long I pretend to treat her with respect and dignity she'll be doing a face plant in my crotch by the end of the night. On the negative side, like I said, Tera is crazy. Whenever we had sex I'd always have to adopt a half-defensive position for fear of her going ape-shit and deciding to attack me for the sins of the men that have wronged her in the past.

The last 2 days flipping stocks have been shit. Lost $200 each day. Today has been going alright but that can change pretty quick. I got back in NOT with 2000 shares at 5.34. Now its trading at 5.45. Not bad but the last few days it dropped more than a buck so I gotta keep a close eye on it to make sure I at least walk away with some profit.

I also bought 10000 shares of ONT at 59 cents. Because I am unfamiliar with the stock and its trading pattern, I sold at 61 cents to lock in some grocery money for the next few weeks. Then realizing I may have sold too early I bought back another 10000 shares at 67 cents. ONT is now at 73 cents so unless I fuck up today should be alright. Fingers crossed I dont fuck up.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AWW FUCK!! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck ,fuck... FUCK!

I booked ONT for a 6 bill gain. Pretty cool. And NOT was trading like it was on viagra - long, hard and always up. Then at 5.93 it was halted for pending news. Some people love when their stock gets halted. I fucking hate it especially when its running hard. Why do you want to halt the stock for fucking news, dude? Just let it run. Now, if the news, which has yet to be released, turns out to be shit the fucking stock will open lower tomorrow, possibly way lower, wiping out the $1200 I made on it and maybe more. Fuck.

Conversely if the news is super great beyond everyone's expectation the stock may jump tomorrow. If that's the case, party at my house. I'll supply the booze, skanks and weed.

the bareback

Alright, so SW finished at 22.94, up $1.94 from the 21 I picked it up on Friday. Nice. Sadly though my NOT which I've been riding for 6 straight winning sessions finally broke down and dropped, today, faster than Marianne to her knees begging for another $20 if she'll let you suck her tits. Hopefully I can find something else to ride for a few days.

I just found out that a friend of mine is barebacking it with the new stripper he's seeing. WOW! I get super paranoid with some of the thin style of condoms now, let alone the bareback jam. I cant roll with the Ultra-Thin or the Maximum-Sensitivity condoms any longer. I can only get down with the absolute thickest fucking condom I can find. Preferably something with industrial sized thickness from East Germany or the old Soviet Union. I dont know why but I imagine these type of countries use to manufacture the type of thick condoms I'm looking for. I'll gladly substitute 100% of feeling for the certainty that not even a speeding bullet is penetrating through my condom, let alone my man-juice.

Off to the gym. Time to start getting my fat ass into shape

alright, so whats going on?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

who knew Sanford and Son was such an awesome fucking show?!

Wow. Its been a while, hasn't it? Not much has happened to me during the last three weeks. I've rediscovered my love for Sanford and Son on TBS but other than that its been pretty dull.

One of the Cosmeticians at work told me I look good in the store's shirt. That was kinda nice. Too bad I'm not the least bit attracted to her. Not even for a quick doggie. Man, If the black chick with the perfect ass told me something like that I would have immediately thrown her over the front checkout counter, on top of all the lottery tickets, and I'd have been tapping dat ass sidewinder style with A Groovy Kind of Love, by Phil Collins, playing over the store's PA system as the soundtrack to our beastly desires. Damn!! Why couldn't it have been the black chick?!

Trading this week has been going alright. I got in NOT again on Monday at 5.78. Today she's clicking along anywhere from between 6.30 and 6.50 so far. We'll see how long it holds up before I have to sell.

Oh, and I hired some Ukrainian to install a new front door for my house. I think it looks pretty nice. Maybe I'll post a pic if I can find my camera. I'm also gonna see if I can get him to do a bay window for me before the winter comes and fucks everything up.

The last week of November is Tommy's birthday. He's been kinda down ever since things with his (ex)girlfriend have become fucked. The dude has always been susceptible to moodiness but now all he does is bitch about his situation. Anyway, I think we're taking him out to the rippers for his birthday. I may drop a few bills and get Tommy cranked by the most degenerate chick I can find. That should be good for a laugh. Maybe I'll post pics of that too. Or maybe a video of Tommy's pecker as he's about to unload. You wont see the stripper's hand cuz she'll be jacking so fast her fist will be practically invisible to the naked eye. Wow, what a dumb way to end this post.

stocks, tv and jacking it

I gotsta be the laziest motherfucker on the face of the planet. Now even day-trading has become too much of a chore for me. I find that trading stocks takes too much time away from my two real passions - tv and masturbation. Its nearly impossible to be a successful day-trader when always in the back of your mind, as you're watching the market in realtime, you are thinking:

"Shit. is it 2:00pm already? Different Strokes is on. I wonder if Dana Plato ever threw it to Mr. Drummond. Probably. I wonder if Dana Plato is related to Plato. I wouldn't doubt it. I cant believe Willis turned out to be such a bitch..."

So in an effort to make some money, to pay the mortgage and bills, I will be throwing some dollars at a few stocks and not even looking at them for one or two weeks (freeing up ample time for tv/dvd watching and jacking it). Of course I still have RIM as my core holding and will never consider selling a single share unless future prospects are revised downward.

Yesterday I picked up TIM at 14.90, BWR at 3.05 and today I bought ARU at 7.71 A few bills are due on the 15th so I will probably revisit the price of these stocks a few days before then. If I take much of an ass-pounding on any of these stocks I may have to consider taping into the line of credit, but I dont think that will be necessary.

Anyway, I'm off to watch Season one of Dexter. I hope it lives up to the hype

Jimmy Smits vs Rik Smits

Did you know that Jimmy Smits' real-life brother is actually Rik Smits? Not too many people know about this little Hollywood fact. Jimmy Smits tries to keep it under wraps because he is a racist. The fucking Spic hates anything to do with Dutch culture. You name it, if its Dutch he hates it. If it was up to Jimmy Smits windmills, tulips, clogs and cheese would be no more.

If Jimmy Smits is not racist then how come there is not one Dutch person in this picture?

The bastard.

Windmills. Can you believe the heathen would do away with windmills? He is one godless, coldhearted son of a bitch. Anyway, I challenge Jimmy Smits to contest my above claims. If you really have nothing against the Dutch then all you have to do is leave a comment on my blog saying something like "yo, I love windmills". Now, just in case any Jimmy Smits apologists try and leave a fake message to clear the name of their false idol, I will ask a question that only the real Jimmy Smits will know the answer to.

The question:

Jimmy Smits, when did you lose your virginity and what was the name of the guy that boned you in the ass to take it?

It dont get no mo' gansta than this mothafucka

Right now I'm watching Ella enchanted...

... and I'm thinking sure, I'd probably throw it to Anne Hathaway.

Yesterday, I spoke with the super hot chinese checkout girl about a whole bunch of different shit, including music. I introduced her to the cock-rock stylings of Phillipino rock god Danko Jones. His new stuff is pretty shit, I think, but his older songs are instant panty remover.

I didn't have any Danko Jones on my MP3 player at work but knowing my luck, the past few days, the super hot chinese checkout girl will go home, download and listen to a whole bunch of Danko Jones' early songs and then proceed to fuck the brains out of the first male she lays eyes on.


I, of course, will be nowhere in the vicinity and in all likelihood be stuffing my face with cheesy-puffs with one hand and cranking it to Anne Hathaway with the other.


I've had this weird thing for Anne Hathaway ever since I saw her topless jamming that gayboy in Brokeback Mountain. Perhaps she'd be interested in auditioning for Platypussy, the James Bond porno I'm developing.

OMG!! Dear reader, is anyone else capable of seeing Anne Hathaway's ta-ta's or have I just developed x-ray vision?

Other females I'd also be willing to work with are Rhiana, Hilary Duff, that retarded black chick from 106 and Park, and Mrs Garrett from The Facts of Life.