Monday, May 14, 2007
(quick weekend recollections before work) conversation at a wedding
Paul: Have you seen Spiderman 3 yet?
Hootch: No. I might go Sunday.
Paul: I heard it wasn't that good.
Hootch: I heard the same thing but I liked the first two.
Paul: I didn't even like the first 2 that much. I think Toby Magauire is miscast as Spiderman.
Hootch: Toby? I think he's alright. Why who would you have play Spiderman?
Paul: I dunno. That's a tough one.
Hootch: I heard when auditions for the first movie were being held, Freddie Prinze jr was lobbying hard for the part.
Paul: Yeah, someone like Freddie Prinze would have been good.
Hootch: Naaah, Freddie is too pretty. Peter Parker has to be common or unremarkable looking. He's like the "everyman", you know.
Paul: You're right. Oh!! you know who would have made a good spiderman? Jason Biggs!
Hootch: What?!? Holy fuck, Paul how much have you had to drink? Jason Biggs as Spiderman?!? First of all, isn't Jason Biggs Jewish? A Jewish Spiderman, holy shit. "Shalom from your friendly neighbourhood spiderman". I dont think that would work, man. You'd see the outline of his yamaka through his spiderman outfit....secondly, his shnaz is so big there would be no mystery as to the secret identity of Spiderman. Everyone would know Spiderman would either be Jason Biggs or Gonzo from the Muppets.
Paul: What about that guy who played Robin from Batman and Robin?
Hootch: Chris O' Donnell?
Paul: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Chris O'Donnell.
Hootch: Isn't Chris O'Donnell a midget?
Paul: No man!! He's taller than Toby Maguire.
Hootch: I dunno. Maybe I think O'Donnell looks shorter than Maguire because he's more muscular, you know.
Paul: I dont think O'Donnell is that muscular.
Hootch: Naw, I dont mean conventional Hollywood muscular like Arnold or Stallone. I mean gay-guy muscular with massive thighs and glutes. You know, the type of muscular you get from pumping ass all day?
I think its somewhere around this point when Paul's wife forbid him to talk to me any longer..