Sunday, May 27, 2007

Lidell vs Jackson; Ms Universe vs Akira

On Saturday night I met my future wife. Well... not so much "met" her but more so just saw her on tv. I was at Sterg's house watching Howard on Demand, for the pre Liddell vs Jackson fight festivities, and thats when I saw her - Akira. This chick blew my fucking mind. I normally dont like skinny women too too much but Akira was perfect. Its like God read my mind and put together the blueprint for my ideal woman. I'm still in awe that such a perfect physical specimen (apart from myself) exists. I mean, I've never seen an ass/upper thigh combo like Akira's before. Instant boner. I dont think there is anything she could do or say to turn me off. She could have told me she was a Nazi and I still would have dove nose first into that asshole.

Here is her website: http://www.akiranyc.com/

A word of warning tho, do not visit her site unless you have at least half an hour to play with yourself afterwards. Otherwise you way die of a rapid rush of semen to your balls resulting in your sack exploding.

On another note, I fell asleep watching Ms. Universe today. I got a chuckle out of the "esteemed panel of judges. Tony Romo?!? The Japanese pigeon-necked guy from Heroes?!? Some Mexican soap opera star?!?! I mean, how are these guys qualified to be judges in a beauty contest? If I was running the show it'd go something like this:

Host: And now television audience, lets introduce you to our revered panel of judges who have the massive responsibility of selecting the next Ms Universe. Our first judge works within the finance sector, has watched 150,000 hours of porno and is presently stalking Akira trying to convince her to at least throw him a mercy fuck. Everybody put your hands together for Hootch!!!

Audience: (Hisses and boos)

Host: Our next judge's qualifications include, once impregnating an entire graduating class of catholic school girls all in one night fueled by nothing but the love in his heart... and a mountain of xtasy. He will also be handing out the awards tonight for Ms. Congeniality, Ms. Photogenic and Ms Tightest Vagina. Everybody please welcome Mr. Charlie Shame.

Anyway, my version of Ms America would go something like that. You'd also get to see alot of the backstage happenings, like the contestants hand-jobbing their way into the top ten etc etc etc.

I really wanted to talk about the Lidell vs Jackson fight and our efforts to score anything that looked even remotely similar to Akira. Maybe I'll get to that next time.

1 comment:

Elaine said...

oooh lidell got his ASS handed to him.