Saturday, March 10, 2007

Marianne's titties; Part II - Zeno, the warrior princess and the coatcheck girl blues

Alright. So as I'm approaching the doors to the club I realise I still have a bit of hootch left. I decide to finish what I can and look for a hiding spot, outside the club, where I can stash the bottle and its remaining contents for later consumption. I find a dark little spot in the corner of an industrial-sized garbage bin, outside the doors of the club, and carefully place my bottle of hootch beside some used condoms and hypodermic needles.

I walk in the club. I can already tell who is on stage by the song that's playing from the club's soundsystem. The song is something (even more shit than usual) from Good Charlotte and the girl on stage is some eastern european bitch who looks like a manish version of zena, warrior princess. I know from experience, the more drunk I become, the more brilliant I will think my idea is of walking up to her and trying to convince her to change her stage name to Zeno, the Warrior Princess with balls. However, since I'm pretty sure I've seen Zeno previously knife a few geezers, in the club parkinglot for shafting her on the "tip" after she's let them fuck her in the men's bathroom, I drop the Zeno idea.

I pay my cover to the coatcheck girl who is reading Thomas Hardy. She looks at me with with disgust. I feel the weight of her moral indignation and its making me feel guilty for even stepping foot in the strip joint. I decide to try and start a conversation with the coatcheck girl in hopes of finding common ground and becoming friends.

Hootch: Oh shit! Why would anyone ever want to read Tess of the d'Urbevilles? You must still be in school, right?

Coatcheck girl: No. Tess of the d'Urbevilles is one of my favorite books. I think Thomas Hardy is really interesting.

Hootch: Oh... me too.

I cut my losses with the coatcheck girl and just walk in the club and look for a place to sit.

6 comments:

Me said...

Smooth conversation.

Just smooth. ;)

lastlifeinmyuniverse said...

i can always be an unfunny version of margaret cho. slightly more mannish.

it's xena. ;)

ps: where are those nuts punk ?

Melissa said...

I'll bet she had a butt crack tattoo that said "Nietzsche is nifty, but Sartre is smart."

Charlie Shame said...

I know you didnt let some skank reading 8th grade honors material drop a fucking look of disgust on you for entering the very establishment that's paying her $7/hour Canadian.

Funny about the music, because it wasnt until my Junior year in high school that I realized my father gets his music taste from strip clubs and thats why, to this day, he listens to Lords of Acid.

Looks like Stackhouse ate his puppy cereal this morning.

Mr. Fabulous said...

Stupid coatcheck girls...

Anonymous said...

if it makes you feel any better
i have a phd in english and i despise tess of the durbervilles and always have. any woman who loves a story about some girl who lets herself be used by every asshole out there and never once stands up to them deserves what she gets at the end of the book (hanging). that coatcheck girl is fucked up--not only does she like tess, but she works for the fucking joint whose patrons she is looking down on. don't worry, she won't have that job for long.