Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Basketball Memories

Finishing up with Jimmy - he was a super nice guy who never once took advantage of his on-court celebrity... not even to score some herb for his friends. What a cock.

Sterg was the exact opposite of Jimmy with both his game and his demeanor. Sterg had no vertical to speak of and mostly stuck to the perimeter. And as courteous and humble as Jimmy always was, Sterg was just as antagonistic. Sterg's game basically consisted of lobbing up an equal mix of 3s and insults to the other team. On the rare occaision Sterg would actually hit a jumper he would always combine his made basket with a classy comment directed toward his defender like "its like I'm Michael and you're Craig Ehlo, fuckface".

Even on defence, he was relentless (with his verbal assault not his actual defending ability - Sterg was basically a pylon... only less mobile). "Hootch, Hootch, watch me", Sterg would say as his opponent would square him up, with the ball, on the outside. "Ima strip this playboy so fast he's gonna think he's back at his boyfriend's place".

Of course what inevitably happened then was Sterg's opponent would easily blow by him off the dribble. He would be beaten so bad his opponent would be taking his third step by him before Sterg's synapsis even started firing off signals to his legs to get moving.

On several occasions, Sterg's lacklustre defence caused quite a few tense moments between us on the court.

Hootch: Sterg, fuck!! Lets go, your fucking man has been using you as a turnstile all game.

Sterg: He's too fast. He's got a lot of speed.

Hootch: Sterg, the guy is like 300 pounds!!

Sterg: Its a deceptive speed.

Hootch: (shaking my head in disbelief)

Sterg: Dont get all bitchy with me, alright? I've seen your man beat you in the post a few times today.

Hootch: My man?!? I'm guarding Andre the fucking giant, here. My man is like 7ft tall. Everytime I try to front him I have his balls resting in top of my head.

Anyway, b-ball with those guys was always good times.

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