Friday, April 20, 2007

busting gun shots for the chinese bbq joint by my work

Alright. I wanna tell you about my evening with NewChineseGirl cuz it was a great fucking night and a really fun time, but before I do I gotta give props to this new Chinese bbq lunch joint I found close to my work.

This place is not one of those fake Chinese restaurants like Ho Lee Chow or Manchu Wok. This place is hardcore, nigger!! Authentic!! They got pig faces hanging on hooks in their front window slathered in bbq sauce. None of their employees speak English. The first time I went there I ordered bbq chicken and rice. The Chinese guy behind the counter packed up my order in their finest, environmentally friendly, styrofoam container and sent me on my way. I got back to work and opened the styrofaom container. What did I get? Some sort of bamboo-like jungle vegetable mixed with shrimp and some other seafood I can only guess to be dolphin ass.

Oh, and the guy that actually cuts up the cooked meat, that motherfucker isn't even wearing any plastic gloves or anything. He's just grabbing a fistfull of bbq pork, cuts it up. Runs his hands through his hair. Grabs a handful of bbq chicken breasts, cuts it up. Blows his nose. Grabs a handful of duck balls, scratches his ass... He just doesn't give a fuck.

I'm positive one of these days you're gonna hear about some weird birdflu-like case in Toronto... and that shmuck will be me. But until then... hook me up with some bbq chicken, motherfucker, that shit is tasty!!!

Hootch

ps. oh, I almost forgot. If you ever go to this plaza with the chinese bbq joint, leave your car at home cuz the parkinglot is like a fucking bumper-car ride at an amusement park for the fucking blind.

6 comments:

lastlifeinmyuniverse said...

lame ! how did the date go ?

Me said...

Ah...typical Hootch fashion. Teasing us about the date, but telling us about dolphin ass. We'll probably NEVER hear about the date. LOL.

J7 L7+ said...

I like when the waiter repeats my order, "You lie Swee and Sow Poh?"

Bumper cars in the parking lot - that's effin hilarious!

Elaine said...

YOu're making this date all up aren't you??

But mmm. bbq pig face. Box that shit up!

Chris said...

Duck balls are fucking scrumptious!

Freak Magnet said...

Chinese BBQ? Wouldn't that be the equivilent of Texas Chinese?