Sterg: Whats this rumour I'm hearing about you taking hotblackchick to the basketball game.
Hootch: Yeah, I was gonna tell you about it but I never had the chance.
Sterg: Dude! I was supposed to go to that game with you!
Hootch: Yeah, but come on, its hotblackchick!! Besides, its only Sac town we're playing. Its gonna be a shit game.
Sterg: Thats not the point! The point is...
Babyface: (joining the conversation and interrupting Sterg) Hey, Hotblackchick just told me you two are having dinner tonight.
Sterg: You're having dinner, tonight, with her?
Hootch: Yeah. Who told you?
Babyface: I just said, she did, motherfucker. She came up to the cash in pharmacy to buy some shit and she mentioned the dinner.
Babyface: And guess what, dude? I have big developments for you.
Hootch: What? Did she say something?
Babyface: Its not what she said. Its what she bought.
Sterg: If she bought condoms for Hootch I'm gonna kill myself.
Babyface: She didn't buy condoms but she bought something just as indicative.
Hootch: Well, what, man, what did she buy?
Babyface: Vasoline, dude. She bought vasoline!! Thats just as telling as if she bought condoms.
Hootch: I cant believe I got excited there for a second. You're an idiot.
Babyface: Dude, she's sending a signal. She bought the vasoline at the pharmacy cash on purpose cuz she knew I would see the lubricant and tell you. She wants you, guy. She wants you!
Sterg: Shit, babyface is right. Hootch, you need to send a signal back.
Hootch: What!? No! You guys are morons. She just bought vasoline ok, lets not read anything into it that isn't there. Its nothing. And you're idiots.
Babyface: You know what you need to do? Buy a pack of condoms and take them to the cosmetics cash and let hotblackchick see and ring you up.
Sterg: And dont buy those fucking ultrathick condoms you like. Buy something from the Trojan For Her Pleasure line, so she thinks you're sensitive. I think that'll score big points before you ask her to suck your balls.
Hootch: Ok, that is not gonna happen.
Babyface: Fuck, dude, do we have to do everything for you?
Sterg: (Yelling probably loud enough for hotblackchick to hear at the cosmetics counter) NO, SORRY, HOOTCH. WE DONT HAVE ANY CONDOMS LARGER THAN THE MAGNUM DOUBLE EXTRA LARGE.
Babyface: You forgot to say "for her pleasure".
Sterg: Shit, you're right.
Babyface: Dont worry. I got a good one. (yelling) GOOD NEWS, HOOTCH. THE PHARMACY JUST RECEIVED YOUR STD TEST RESULTS. LOOKS LIKE YOUR PENIS IS DISEASE FREE, JUST IN CASE YOUR NEXT PARTNER WANTS TO BARE-BACK IT.
And with that I walked away wondering if hotblackchick heard any of our nonsense.