Making my way over to the buffet table, I notice the quesidilla wraps are right beside a type of food I'm not familiar with. I try and figure out what the mystery dish is but all I can conclude, in my inebriated state, is that its small, round and must go together with the quesidilla wrap.
I put two of the round mystery items in my quesidilla wrap. The bartender comes over also looking to get something to eat.
Bartender: Are you putting pierogies in your quesidilla?!?
Hootch: Listen, yo. I dont even know what a pierogi is, but this shit right here, this combination... is fucking delicious.
Bartender: A pierogi is what you're putting in your quesidilla.
Hootch: Oh... well then yeah. I guess I am. I guess I am putting pierogies in my quesidilla. Why... you're not supposed to?
Bartender: No, you're not.
Hootch: Well you should cuz this shit is fucking good. You know what would make it even better?
Waitress: I'm afraid to ask.
Hootch: Well, you dont have to ask, Joanie, I'll tell you.
Waitress: Did you just call me "Joanie"?
Hootch: A little honey-mustard and like... PLOW, this might be the greatest dish ever created, you know? Rachel Ray, my balls, bitch.
Waitress: (trying some pierogies in her quesidilla wrap) Hmmmm, you know. This is good.
Hootch: I told you.
Waitress: I would have never guessed it. that honey-mustard suggestion is gross though.
Hootch: Oh well, whatever. You know, I feel a little guilty, cuz I haven't even given you any fair warning or anything.
Waitress: Warning over what?
Hootch: I haven't given you any fair warning over the fact that I'm wearing Axe deoderant and Tag body spray.
Hootch: I'm wearing Axe deoderant and Tag body spray, so if you and your friend feel the overwhelming urge to group sex me, dont hold back on my account. Its alright. I'm cool with it.
Waitress: No thanks. I'd rather link up with the pierogi and the honey-mustard.