Thursday, September 14, 2006

Conversations at work with NewCootch

I started this on Thursday, I think. The below conversation took place the day before at work. My department is pretty small so its a pretty safe assumption that most of the people I work with heard the following:

NewCootch: Do you want to hear my new ringtone?

Hootch: No.

NewCootch: Why not? Its Sean Paul.

Hootch: I fucking hate Sean Paul.

NewCootch: I thought you liked him.

Hootch: He's alright, I guess. Listen I have a lot of work I gotta do before I go home tonight, alright.

NewCootch: I have Gimme The Light or Give It Up To Me. Which one do you want to hear?

Hootch: Neither.

NewCootch: Oh my god, like, why are you being so rude?

Hootch: Remember Sterg?

NewCootch: The guy who runs the pharmacy?

Hootch: Yeah. Well I gotta break the fuck outta work as soon as I can because he's hooking me up with some serious discount on a lot of shit I need. Vitamins, protein powder, some cologne, you know? And I got to get to his store before he leaves, but first I gotta finish my work.

NewCootch: Can he hook me up too?

Hootch: Sure. With what?

NewCootch: Do you know what I need a lot of from a pharmacy?

Hootch: Trojans?

NewCootch: Wha?! I cant believe you said that. Besides, I dont think they make Trojans in extra small, if they're for you.


Freak Magnet said...

Do you want to hear MY new ringtone? I'm bringing SexyBack. Them other boys don't know how to act.

drëâmè® said...

haha, me goodness.

My ringtone is.... old school =(
Sorry I can't afford to download.


sammyray said...

My ringtone is "gurgle, gurgle, gurgle" because I threw my cellphone into the Mississippi River.

Cellphone companies are the new Mafia.

And as for NewCootch, I'm right there with ya buddy. Ain't no black in my family...

"Swing not so lowwwww, sweet chariot..."

Melissa said...

You will never learn...

Tbone Stallone said...

Mine is the musak version of 'God Only Knows, i even spent the time to put it in using composer.

Although, I pretty much keep it on vibrate during the day; i cant wait until they exchange the vibratte mode with suck mode, thats the day i break it off with the bitch.

"Sorry Honey, i got the new Nokia Vag-8830, won't be needing you anymore, or electricity as its powered by semen."

lastlifeinmyuniverse said...

mines on vibrate. ;)

no, really.

2 Dollar Productions said...

Screw all ring tones because they all get old after about 2 calls.