Tuesday, September 19, 2006

5 Minute Thoughts of Marianne, stripper extraordinaire

Memories of Marianne - part I

ahhh, marianne. You are by far and away the most beautiful girl to ever walk the face of the earth... its a shame you have to be so fuckin retarded.

We had some good times though, didn't we?

Like the time I brought over Goonies for us to watch at your house but you didn't like it. You said the plot was too complicated. You were sitting at the corner of the couch. I was beside you trying to explain the complexities of the Goonies when you effortlessly lifted your leg in the air at a 45 degree angle. You wrapped your calf around the back of my neck and started bending your knee drawing my head closer and closer toward your snapper. That was a pretty hot move. I never told you this before but in the 10 seconds it took me to go from watching the Goonies to be buried in your cooter I must have obliterated my underwear with ejaculate.

Your text message today (the txt message: sorry I was such a bitch. Please for give me) brought back many memories. Like the time I had to convince you that unicorns dont actually exist. Fun times for sure.

Anyway, its time for me to go to work. Take care. Stay well. And dont call me again.


Tbone Stallone said...

Strippers are the physical chemists of the entertainment industry.
Besides, any fuckpuppet that can boomerang your face with her calf, deserves a passing grade in advanced trig.

girlbehindyou said...

Unicorns are real ... right???

Me said...


I think I might have to try the calf-snapper move sometime. ;)

Freak Magnet said...

Strippers are a rare breed. And they tip well. And drink the coolest drinks - two things I learned in my bartending days.

Freak Magnet said...

Wait, that makes three.


I was having a stripper moment.

2 Dollar Productions said...

I would have kicked her to the curb for not being taken in by The Goonies, which is a classic.

I wonder who would win an IQ contest between her and Sloth?

At least she looks a hell of a lot better.

Elaine said...

Nice Calf Snapper move. Shame she was a dimbulb.

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

tbone - this chick was a friggin mathematician. Dumb as fuck in almost every other regard but when it came to dividing any number by $20 (cost of a lap dance) she was like sir isaac newton.

girlbehind - yeah unicorns and centaurs ;)

me - let me know how it works out... and if you ever need anyone to practise on ;)

FreakMagnet - stripper drinks, that reminds of a story. thanks.

$2 - Joe Pantolione (sp?) has been in 4 of my favorite movies. Bound, Memento, The Matrix and The Goonies

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

Elaine - if only she could have 1% of your charm.

Me said...

Oh my....Well, you know, I am free tonight...