Wednesday, September 17, 2008

back... and flatout broke

Whats up, motherfuckers? I'm still alive, although probably not disease-free any more given the fact I've been pounding Maryanne's vag, again, on a semi-frequent basis. Still refusing to find a real job as well, despite any previous lukewarm success in daytrading spiraling into daily unlubricated ass-rapes from the market's monster cock. To combat the loss of thousands of dollars a day, from my bank account, I've increased the number of hours I work at Sterg's pharmacy from 10 hours a week to 15 hours. Couple this with my recent raise from $8.50 to $9.00 an hour and I'm sure you can easily see I'm the picture of financial stability.

Now, I know alot of you are thinking "Hootch, but you're so fucking smart and your balls taste like Certs breath mints, how can you be doing so poorly in the stock market?!? I dont believe you. I bet you are doing fucking awesome!!"

Ok. Fine. So to prove I am just as good as losing money as that fag, Kramer, is I will update my blog with my recent stock plays and reasons for buying. Ready?

Potash Corp (tsx). Purchased again today at $164.50. Next year's earnings are going to be in the neighbourhood of $20 per share giving POT a p/e ratio of about 8. Good enough for me. $155 is my stop/loss.

Teck Comminco (tsx). Purchased today at $33.90. Really fucking inexpensive given this year's earnings and an even better buy using next year's estimates. Can the stock go lower? Sure, but the upside is huge if the markets ever turn around. Stop/Loss at $33.

Pengrowth Energy Trust (tsx). Purchased yesterday at $16.25. As long as oil doesn't nosedive much further I have no plans on selling this bitch. Paying me a dividend of 16.5% in monthly installments is incentive enough for me to hold.

Yellow Pages Income Trust (tsx) Purchased today at $9.00. Boring. Wont hit a home run with this one but paying me a 13% dividend in monthly payments. Company plans on keeping its high yield even after the cocksucking Conservative party forces them to change from a Trust to a Corporation. Wont sell unless fundamentals change.

BCE (tsx) purchased today at $33.75. BCE was boughtout a few years ago by a consortium lead by the Ontario Teachers Pension Plan for $42.75 a share. The closing of the deal has been delayed by legal arguments presented by bondholders (all fags). These legal arguments have been dismissed by the Supreme Court of Canada. However, now the shareprice is dropping because there is apparent uncertainty over the ability to obtain financing for the deal. I think the money is already in place and its just a matter of time before this bitch hits the takeout price. Will hold unless the deal falls apart. Reward far outweighs the risk, in my opinion.

talk to you later, alligators.


Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I'd buy stock in YOU, IDHaC.

Good luck on that energy company. I personally hope crude plummets to 35/bl.

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

Funny how oil drops from $150 to below $100 but we're still paying close to all time highs (up here in canada anyway). Those bastards screw us good.

Yo Momma said...

First yay you're back!!!! and damn even though you're getting ass raped by the market with no lube in sight, you're still a trooper and taking it like a guy who's gone gay for pay.
Seriously though, good luck!!!

Franki said...

you kinda lost me after you stopped talking about vag and monstercock, but i'm glad you're still alive.

Anonymous said...

Franki said exactly what I was feeling

nobich said...

certs breath mints- have we met??

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

yo momma. its going alright. if it wasn't I'd be sucking more dick to make ends meet.

franki - I'd be happy to talk to you about vag and monstercock all you'd like.

jenn - ditto

nobich - were they mint or winterfresh?