porno and stocks

- I think I'm gonna do a porno spoof of James Bond movies. My porno will be called "Platypussy" and I'll play the lead character, James Bone

- Related to the above point, I'm thinking of officially changing my name to Buck Jizzwad

- Why does it feel, whenever you make a bad trade, you'll never make a good one again?

Monday and Tuesday I got fucking rocked. I swung for the fences and got nothing but air. I even considered talking a few weeks off from trading to regroup and recharge. Looking at many series of numbers, in real-time, constantly change every second sends your brain spinning a million miles an hour. Even after 4pm its tough to settle down. My brain continually wants and looks to process information in nanosecond intervals.

Thankfully I bought into TIM again. I've mentioned this stock previously as being one of my favorites to flip. I discovered it a $4 maybe around 6 months ago and have traded it at least half a dozen times. Yesterday the stock closed at 15.50. In retrospect it would've been better if I just bought and held my position at $4ish. However, then it was impossible to predict such an ascent. Anyway I took a position again on Tuesday at 11.99 and have eaten away at most of my losses this week. I even considered selling my RIM to cover some of the losses but thankfully TIM has performed way better than I could have hoped. It goes without saying though, because I mentioned TIM it will undoubtedly plummet today.

I missed calling the BWR rally by one day. Last week I bought at 2.80 and sold half an hour later at 2.77. The next day marked the beginning of its rally. Its up almost 20% since then. That fucking hurts.

Anyway, on to the auditions for the lead female in Platypussy.

Friday:

I picked up another 13% on NOT today and sold mid morning. With the rest of my day to do fuck all with I popped in Season 6 of Smallville and jacked it to Lois Lane's ridiculously large implants. That was alright.



I thought about going to Sterg's store to check out the smoking hot Chinese chick or the new black cosmetician. The black cosmetician has an ass thats a perfect half circle. I swear I might be able to use her ass as a substitute for a protractor (when the occasion calls for a flawless 180 degrees).



Looking at the new cosmetician's ass may be the incentive I need to re-enroll back in high school to upgrade some of my math courses. I'm pretty sure this is how Pythagoras developed all his theories on geometric angles... by looking at hot black ass.

Sunday:

I discovered my online bookie also offers teasers. Today I took Detroit (teased their line +10.5), San Fran (teased their line to +16.5) and the Cowboys (teased their line to +9.5). The thing is with teasers all your bets need to come in for you to win. I put down 50 to get be back 90. I also have the under for another 50 on the "shortest touchdown scored over/under 1.5 yards" prop bet.

Pappa needs a new pair of shoes

Wednesday, just before 9:30

I got rocked on Monday for $400. An acceptable loss (I'm trying to convince myself) considering I killed it last week. However it was still a blow to the ego and a reminder that the market can be a fickle bitch.

Monday night I worked a shift at Sterg's pharmacy. It just a bullshit job moving shit from the warehouse to the front part of the store where all the household items and food/drinks are sold. I underestimated how completely shit the pay is. I originally asked Sterg to work a few shifts here and there in order to have a guaranteed stream of income if the trading didn't go as planned. He said "sure" and I made it clear that I wanted to be paid what everyone else got paid when they first started and treated how everyone else got treated. But like I said I completely miscalculated the number of bills I would be able to pay working for $10 an hour. However, on the plus side, the chicks who work at his store are super-fucking hot, yo.

Tuesday was alright for me. I cleared 240 although I was up nearly 1000 in the first 10 minutes. I'm not really upset that I didn't sell at the apex of the stock price as I'll always risk losing a little profit for the chance to see my stock rise higher.

Today I'm gonna see if I can hit one of my favorite gold stocks at the open. Yesterday BWR closed at 2.70 and pre-market today looks like it will open at least 10 cents higher. Even still, I think it'll have another 5 cents in it after the open and thats all I'll be looking for. If I can get that I'll be shutting off the computer for the day and hitting the shopping mall for some dvds.

Investing 101, mothafuckaaaas

Alright, the best thing for you to do if you wanna learn how to invest is do the exact opposite of what I say. I mean, if you wanted to learn how to keep a shit blog then I might be able to help you out but anything a mature adult should be able to do is all foreign to me.

Thankfully though, this week I've been luckier than a motherfucker and sometimes its better to be lucky than good. The NOT I bought on Monday at 1.37 closed yesterday at 3.96. Today the stock is halted pending news but I have already traded this bitch 4 times buying on dips and selling before the close. Today I took some of the profits from NOT and I bought BMR at 0.34. BMR is also a mining company and has some property beside NOT. BMR today is trading on crazy volume simply on account of NOT's impressive sample results. Its so funny because neither of these companies is anywhere close to producing whatever the fuck it is they mine for. However they've caught the imagination of the markets. BMR is now trading at 0.43 cents but losing steam it appears. I've set my stop/loss and 40 cents and will be happy as fuck to close out what was supposed to be a slow Friday with a 17+% gain in a few hours.

I'm positive sooner or later I'll hit some monumental losses but for now all is well, ma. I just done made me some serious titties-in-my-face money.

Please note, the above is in no way promotion for NOT or BMR. I really know shit about these companies.

the death of a pop star and the birth of a joke

Wow. Did anyone else see the train wreck that was Britney Spears at the MTV Music Awards last night? She reminded me of an over-the-hill busted cougar who is sticking around the bar till last call thinking her slow-as-fuck uncoordinated 1985 dance moves are driving the boys wild when all they're really doing is providing the material for a good bet.

boy1: Yo, you see that 40 year old ho with the tight-ass jeans and the camel toe?

boy2: Yeah, what about her?

boy1: I'll give you $100 if you fuck her.

boy2: Ok. But does it have to be with my dick?

boy1: I dunno. What else were you thinking of, like, your finger?

boy2: What about this beer bottle?

Anyway, yeah, Britney, yesterday was the death of her career.

TIM is up over another 13% today. Motherfuck!! I missed on this run cuz I fell asleep watching Star Trek. Might be too late to get into it now as it'll probably sell off the rest of the day. I'll try to monitor TIM for the rest of the day, but I highly doubt I'll be able to do so for more than 15 minutes without being able to resist the distraction/allure of online porno.


Just got a call from one of my friends at my old job. He called to let me know NOT is running. I just bought 2000 shares at 1.37. I'm probably too late for this party as well but I'll hold till my stop/loss at 1.27 is hit.

My online bookie has this proposition bet "shortest touchdown scored over/under 1.5 yards". Its like, the craziest fucking thing. I'm thinking over every fucking game. The only way you can lose is if someone scores a one yard TD. Yesterday I took that bet on three games and won them all (Buffalo/Denver, Detroit/Oakland and St. Louis/Carolina (I should mention prior to those 3 games I was something like 1 outta my last 5). I told my friends about this proposition bet and they all want in for both of tonight's games. I'm almost positive me mentioning my success with that prop bet will throw the voodoo on us tonight.

Better get going now. I have some online smut to surf through. Oh and by the way if anyone wants to IM me on Yahoo feel free to do so. I think my User ID is HootchandCootch.

NOT is 1.51 right now, muthafuckaaaaas. Pray I dont fuck it up.

Thanks.

Me and Mally at George Stakis' Wedding

Mally: Has your girl from the strip club in Niagara Falls called you yet?

Hootch: The Romanian? No we kind of had nothing in common. What about your two chicks?

Mally: They haven't called me either.

Hootch: Too bad. I tell you though, man, when I saw your two chicks eating each other out right in front of you, I just about wet my pants.

Mally: Of fuck, I've been cranking it hard to that memory for the past couple of weeks

Hootch: Its so weird how those chicks have become so desensitized to sex, though, eh. Its like, them sucking on each other's clit is like us shaking hands.

Mally: I know...ITS SOO AWESOME. Hold on a second, I just got a text (looking at his phone). Its the girls from Niagara!!

Hootch: Fuck off.

Mally: No, I'm not shitting you. Remember when I told you I stored their number under the name "Hootch's Aunt", so Linda wont bust my balls if she ever decides to go through my phone?

Hootch: Yeah

Mally: Well, look (shows me his phone)

Hootch: Holy shit, its them. What'd they say in the text?

Mally: (reading the text message) "Where are you guys". What should I reply?

Hootch: Say "knuckle deep"

Mally: Thats good. Knuckle deep (Mally repeating slowly as he enters in the text)

Hootch: (me looking over Mally's shoulder as he's entering the text). "Knuckle" begins with a "k", Einstein.

Mally: Ok, its sent.

(a few minutes later)

Mally: They just responded.

Hootch: What'd they say?

Mally: (reading) "Haha. Very funny - "knuckle deep". For real tho, where are you guys".

Hootch: Text back "cant you feel it?"

Mally: HAHA. Thats good.

Hootch: did you send it?

Mally: yeah. Look they already responded.

Hootch: What'd they say?

Mally: "You guys are assholes"

By staying home I thought I'd have more time to blog...

...but I've been too busy stroking it to hot black chicks on BET and watching the Friday Night Lights DVD. Friday Night Lights is alright. I haven't seen the entire first season just yet but so far so good. Plus there is this insanely good looking cheerleader who pretty much needs dick to survive so she bangs like crazy. Here is a picture. Guys, begin cranking.



Trading has been going alright also. VRS had a nice little run and I have since sold my position. I bought some TIM yesterday and am up around 13% so far. I should have sold, at least some of my position, at the close to lock in a profit. I got greedy though so I'm still holding. Unless the overall market sentiment is super negative before the open I'll be surprised if TIM doesn't open at least a little higher today. Of course I could be wrong...who knows, I probably am. Either way though I should be alright unless the stock goes down faster than your mom on a guy with a 20 in his pocket.

The only stock I'm holding longterm is RIM. I bought in a few weeks ago at $74. I'm up around 18% but I think there is still alot more room for growth. The stock may trade sideways from now until their quarterly results are announced, but like I said I think there is alot more upside especially once RIM gets into consumer products and starts dummying up those bitches at Apple.