Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Quit my job.

Last day at work is technically next friday, although I ditched today and will probably do the same tomorrow.

So whats the masterplan? I'll give daytrading a serious try see if that can pay the bills and mortgage. If I fall a little behind I'll get Sterg to hire me at his pharmacy... either that or find myself a little street corner and start cranking out the handjobs at $10 a pop.

Went to George Stakis' stag over the weekend. Fucking wild. I'm not really all that tight with Stak any more but damn it was fun. I cant believe I didn't throw up. Me, Mally and Ho starting drinking the hootch as Sterg was driving us to Niagara Falls. Thats were the stag was. We hooked up with Heel and BabyFace at the FallsView Casino. Heel and Babyface are a couple of young cats who work at Sterg's store. They were working the roulette table when we saw them. I was already rocking a pretty good buzz. I introduced myself and ordered us a round of drinks. Heel turned around and said "Thanks. I got you next".

As we watched Heel and Babyface play the outsides on the table, Sterg told me a story that nearly made me piss my pants.

Sterg: Hey Hootch, did I tell you about the time when Mally cock-blocked Heel at a strip joint in Mexico. Heel was with this Mexican chick and he had negotiated to receive a blowjob for $30.

Hootch: $30?!? Was she fucking nasty or something? 30 bones seems a little low.

Heel: Actually it was originally $60 but I had talked her down to 30. She looked like a model, man. She was beautiful.

Sterg: Yeah. Mally wanted us to leave right away but I told him we had to wait for Heel to finish getting his blowjob. Mally was tripping like crazy, though. I think he had some bad shrooms or something cuz he was losing it and wanted to leave asap. I told him "give Heel a few more minutes and we'll leave", but, naw, he wasn't having any of it. He marched right through the VIP section of the club and yelled "Heel, we have no money left".

Hootch: He did?!

Sterg: Yeah. I've never seen strippers clear a room so fast. Even the other strippers working their tricks bailed on their johns cuz no one knew who the fuck Heel was.

Mally: Shit, guy, I was so pissed at you that night. Why the fuck was I paying $22 American for a lapdance when you were getting blowjobs for 30? I might as well have paid the extra $8.

Heel: Anyway, Mal, if you try and cockblock me tonight we are gonna go rounds.

Mally. Okay, whatever. (pointing at the roulette table) Are you up or down?

Heel: I'm down about the cost of 3 blowjobs in Mexico.

11 comments:

julia said...

congratulations, i think.

Me said...

Hmm...so you're quitting your job. Good for you! It seems like everyone in my blogging world is either moving or getting a new job.

Maybe I should do the same. :)

Jackass Jenn said...

what I love most about your blog is you blog in a completely different language, yet...I understand it!

Elaine said...

really?? you quit your job to do that. How awesome and scary at the same time. I'm so tempted to quit reading all these books (and your emails) on how to do it and just have you do it for me!

Good luck but I know you're going to kick ass in it.

J7 L7+ said...

Wait, I'm confused... what kind of job are you quitting? Blow or day?

2 Dollar Productions said...

Strippers can smell when you run out of money like a fart in a car.

Good luck w/ the new job - whatever it may be as it's a white-electric feeling to skate the edge of a job. Nice one.

Melissa said...

Holy smokes batman! What prompted the big change?

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

julia - thanks. I'm still not entirely convinced its a good idea cuz traditionally me and good ideas are like oil and water.

me - who knows, I may be moving as well... straight to the poorhouse

jenn - thanks. thats nice of you to say.

elaine - scary, indeed. the first week I told my job I quit I couldn't find a winning stock to save my life. Since then I've knocked down two in a row, though.

J7 - the day job. Although if I lose all my money trading I can probably kiss the blow jobs goodbye as well.

$2 - its like the strippers all of a sudden became track athletes and ran out of there in a flash. Perhaps I can train them into becoming Canada's next olympic track team.

melissa - a number of reasons helped me decide. If I cant make the mortgage payments I may need a place to sleep. The pics of your new place on you blog look very nice (hint hint).

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Man, I have to tell you how much I like your blog's name.

Freak Magnet said...

I don't know why, but I panic a little when someone quits their job.

THANKS FOR FUCKING UP MY WHOLE DAY!!

Seriously, though. I hope everything works out for you.

Hey! Where are you going to meet the new girls? Or have you already gone through all of the ones you worked with?

Melissa said...

You know you're welcome any time.